[q's.simple.life]

wow..

2006-07-03T12:55:00.000-04:00

wow.. i almost forgot that i have this blog! =P it's so long ago... and so old -_-" hehe~ i dunno.. i'm just really used to xanga now tha'ts probably why~~ =) but dunno... randomly in time i may just switch back... altho i don't relaly want to hahahaha =) we'll see~ this one looks so shabby compared to my xanga's... but yeah...here comes the 21... =P

xanga

2005-03-04T00:29:00.000-05:00

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Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

2005-02-27T16:08:00.000-05:00

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
f**ked up and everything’s all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Till then I'll walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Till then I'll walk alone..

so it's over... finally~

2005-02-26T01:47:00.000-05:00

yup.. so it's all finally over.. *breathes a sigh of relief... then gets choked by a dark cloud forming over my head* yup dats how i feel exactly RITE NOW. i wanna do work but looking at this bio project i can head a migraine settling in already.. i don't know why the past few days i sleep 7 hours but i wake up as if i had finished fighting a battle.. i constantly doze off.. and from time to time i get lightheadedness... ai.. wat the heck is wrong w/ me these days sumtimes.. sigh i wish i knew~

yeah dunno y.. latey i always feel like 有時想擁有某一樣o野, 但並不等於可以擁有... yeah.. dunno.. just my feelings for him are very all over the place.. sumtimes i feel like the way i used to feel about him.. but from time to time another new feeling settles in.. it's a mix of indifference/heartless~ i don't kno.. starting to feel like i just don't care anymore... i'm tired of realtionships.. tired of liking a person... tired of feeling lost and can't figure out things.. tired of getting hurt when the other person doesn't even feel like he's done anything wrong... hai~ suen la... almost get to a point where i'm starting to question how come everytime when we're together random things go wrong.. yet when we're not together... the better stuff happens... ai i wish i can comprehend.. but my brain can only take so much...~ just seems like.. we've turned into two completely diff people... we dont' see things the same way... sumtimes me being intown and him being outtown does make the big difference~ yeah... starting to get this feeling where if i really do end up not marrying the rest of my life.. i really don't give a crap anymore~ ng marry mai ng marry lor... no big deal~... except. sumtimes i really dont' wanan think about him.. but a million things i see/hear/feel regularly everyday can somehow link back to him and reminds me of memories... flash images in my head... oh i just wish u can tell me what do u want? really.. what DO u want? sigh i'm extremely tired of trying to figure it out... if u dont' wanna tell me.. the only thing i can do is move on~ i mean.. can't even have a normal conversation with you... arg i'm just getting to my nerve ends. sigh.. too tired to go on. i'm gonna stop here~

tm is the day of battle w/ genetics.. odds of me winning = 0.0001

2005-02-24T20:37:00.000-05:00

OH SH*T... i'm so screwed for genetics tomorrow. id idn't start studying till last nite... gwai giu i had midterm on tues nite mei.. -_-" then went up to mich's res to finish up chem prep and then ate jap takeout w/ her, mimi and cindy~ and then was chatting the whole time making fun of each other.. *basically me and mi paired up and picked on mich =)* of coz mich ho mo loi hahahah~ sorrie! u kno we only do it coz we love u =) muwahhahahaha kekke~ anyways~

yes. am screwed for genetics. big time. but yeah maybe putting it at 6pm on friday isn't such a bad idea.. = more time to study... speaking of which.. i only have 6 hours to study b4 i sleep... so many i should start.. NOW~ then after tm nite have to do bio writing assignment in the weekend.. 10% ... can't just BS my head off on this... too risky -_-"

god can be so humorous.. while the whole time i made one excuse after the other... i mean seriously i do feel like i should do more intown stuff b4 i head out... but different ppl have been randomly telling me to go.. i mean once it would seem coincidental.. when u get 5 replies like dat.. it isn't~ but yeah michelle is so right... thx so much~~~! yeah.. i'll tell them i cna't work that week.. and if tha'ts the job that's hindering me from serving for God.. then obviously isn't not what God wants me to do this summer then!~ =P

always feels so nice when god finally lets me SEE thru things and i feel so relieved coz now the problem is solved =) but i still do have one issue... if God can let me take a course i need in may/june since right now they're offering in july/aug... then i'll go~ for sure~ and i think if dats what god's calling me to do... i'm sure he'll figure out a way to balance everything... he did it last summer.. and summers b4.. he can do it again~

random sunday thoughts

2005-02-21T00:36:00.000-05:00

Listening to: Mark Schultz - He's my son

This song made me cry today. The lyrics is just so touching...

I'm down on my knees again tonight I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

yeah... this song kinda punched through my heart, because the first thing i thought of... was God. Put God as the father of the song, and u'll kinda see things from his angle when Jesus had to die on the cross. Jesus is human too; he was scared, afraid, alone because God had to leave him to the burden of sin. This must have hurted God tons, to watch his son had to suffer like that. I guess tha'ts goes the same way when he sees us suffering. He has to be just, but at the same time, he loves us so much that he's heartbroken, wishing that he could take our place. and he did, by sending Christ to pay for our sins so we won't be parted from him. Such a great act yet overlooked by many ppl these days. i mean, it's just mind-blowing just to think about it. God did ALL this for us... all we have to do is give our lives back to God.. coz it belongs to him in the first place.

I admit i struggle w/ my faith a lot too; but i always know that in the end God will always build me up; it's all a learning process. But through my spiritual deserts, i finally understood what's it like to quench with thirst for God's word, that longing for God being there when i needed him although at the time doesn't seem like he was. The whole time i was just blocking him out w/o realizing~~ the past 5 yrs i've been a christian has not been an easy journey; i would say i'ts far from easy, and i know it will get harder and harder as time goes by. But yeah, i also keep in mind.. no matter how bad things would get, i also know God will be with me; not only that, but he'll never give me something that is too much to handle.~

Right now... i'm still debating about that US short-term missions trip for this summer... i know that if i tell the places that i apply for summer job i need to be away for a week in july... they will rethink about hiring me... sigh... so lost. i dunno what to do~ i mean after hearing the guy coming in and talk about it today.. inside i know my heart is telling me this is definitely a direction i can be heading.. but whether it's this summer.. i dunno! ><" everything is drawing up a blank! SIGH~ i can only pray, until sumthing happens..

post on xanga

2005-02-15T22:50:00.000-05:00

i'm using xanga for now coz stupid thing doesn't support putting pics -_- haha~ so go to http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Bummie_Ju for now~ =P

eye problem still here.... on vday

2005-02-14T20:41:00.000-05:00

awww.. my right eye is still messed up! it's so weird... i'm scared it's temporarily blindness.. b/c after flash of light.. i have trouble regaining my 'rods'... errm basically my eye doesn't recover...~ omg wats happening.. >.< sigh...
so yesterday after church me and hannie ate lunch at woodside dropped my family home then drove to fairview to SHOP! hhha oh my haven't had so much fun for a long time shopping~~~ dats y they say there is such a need as 'gurl shopping'~ coz there are just some things guys will never understand.. it's a GURL thing =) kekekke but yeah~ we went to all these stores.. TIMING haa 'u want anything here?' 'no' 'ok next store' haha~

in the end i bought a poncho, a collar shirt and a thin v-neck sweater~ nice nice =) was tempted to buy stuff at jacob but i kno i can't~ besides.. it's warming up haha don' need to buy winter stuff.. save dat for next yr =P kee~ then we ate strawberry frozen yogurt... stupid should've got a big big one and share la~ -_- and then we took photos at the photo booth.. wakkakkakaa we have never taken those machinese b4 so we didn't kno how it'd turn out.. what we 'though't was the camera wasn't the camera! it was supposed to be looking at UNDER the thing that looks like a camera lens... -_- aha~ and then the shooting was fast we made random poses.. haha~ i'm still waiting for the pics coz hannie's scanning them~ but it was quite funny lol we dind't kno we could CHOOSE BACKGROUND -_- lol~ but i do like white.. except a bit of blue was at the side... AI.. haha not used to these machines.. mo faat la =P wakakakaka~

today i woke up on a gloommy rainy valentine's day morning at 7:30am~ was in traffic jam from 8-8:50am... but got to the church on time thank goodness~ coz it started at 9pm~ the gurl i accompanied w/ was not bad~~ but the others are better~~ yeah well she's newbie. began violin a yr ago and is playing gr.4 piece... so =P crazie~ haha those other ones are more 'advanced' tho u can tell coz they played longer... but this made me realize i do miss competing in piano.. and performing...

speaking of performing.. the guy 'interviewed' me at vic and yes! kekeke i can play!! APRIL 1ST, ISABEL BADER THEATRE (friday nite) i'll be performing in the 'vic chorus' as a solo piano performer ~ wakakakakaka yeah it'll be cool.. few hundred ppl that theatre can hold.. so cool! =) finally i'm 'part of sumthing at the GREAT UT' haha~ but yeah can't wait~ i hope u guys who are reading this can come la! =) msg me =) coz need to buy tickets i think.. =P keke anyhoo! hav to do more work. forcing myself i'm lazing off badly~

i feel... relaxed =) AHHH.... my eye -_-

2005-02-13T01:55:00.000-05:00

woohoo~~so yesterday i didn't do much. just mauled around at home and watched SIU YUEN JEE all day long haha~ and then went to church for fellowship..omgness! the SUI GAU was SOOOO JANG~~ it's was amazing~~ i ate until i couldn't eat anymore -_- i just kept 'bau'-ing them.. haha milton commented on how b/c i'm such a fob i can make nice looking ones =) haha~ i am getting pretty good at it wakkaakaka~ =) yay!! it was sooo yummy ar...~~

then today just went to teach as usual.. aww not gonna teach sydnie no more.. she was crying again.. yeah she's too young.. can't sit still and stuff ar... so =P when she's older sin joi start gor la~~~ but then now i don't have to teach till 11!! HO YEA~ yeah this morning i put on my contacts, my right eye just burst w/ RED. it was no longer white i coudln't see any white on my right eye~ i was single eye driving the car to the studio.. omgness while my right eye tears just kept FLOWING like a river! omg... never had dat b4. i was so scared i took it out and left it alone for an hour and then ng duc la so i then i went single eye *coz i only had one contact in* and drove to shoppers to get some eye drops~ it was SO MUCH better.. it got better as the day went on. but still burns from time to time but i took it out as soon as i got home.. OI! -_- i think my eye's just too tired and pressure too high...~ but yeah.. ai.. JUN MA FAN x_x

but yeah~ went to bbt w/ sai lo today..~ it was cool~ =) just chat and stuff.. bumped into vincent lau at the lovegety store tim~~ arg he's got those THICK frames.. aiya doesn't look nice! -_-" oh well haha~ yeah took a card w/ him. OI spent so long debating which frame coz most of them are either too gurly or too COUPLEly lor.. -_- haha~ and then we took one the one i look best in he looked weird. and then ran out of time haha stuck w/ the third one where i have a V sign but my middle finger is crooked -_- haha~ oh well suen la haha at least i don't look look dat bad... since my face is MEGA BREAKING OUT like mad i dun even kno y lor... AI~ so here's the pic:

and so happy! today get to talk to my 2 best friends at the same time on msn =) wkakakaka talked about so many things! it was amazing chat~ =) very very happy~ and i talked to angel on wed!! finally.. have to see her b4 she go back into queen's after her reading week..~ oi not used to her new name! she'll always be my ANGEL =) keke~ yupyup~ and talked to kay kay biu mui too~~ aww ngor mo ng lay lei ar!!!! ><" aww i miss u so much!! wanan see u =(... gei ju lei promise gor d mei ga~ i better see u in the airport kekekeke~ =) so yeah... ai already 2am la~~ yiu fun lu~~ nitee~

woohoo! reading week begins.. =)

2005-02-11T02:14:00.000-05:00

haha yay! reading week began!! =) i finished chem midterm last nite! WOOHOOOOO =) yeah it was alrite. i just hope i did ok~~~ keekekeke~ yupyup so after grabbing all dat med school stuff after class, me and the gurls went for a little shopping fun~ =) haha we took forever to get to the subway station coz first it was irene's 'yum ying' at the STAIRS and april's story about the spadina man... hahaahah~ =) oh my~ so funny~~ so finally we got there. and we were looking at stuff.. b4 u kno it as usually.. since we're so deen, we were fooling around the store.. see if u kno which one it is =):

yupyup, so apparently me and april decide to try on cowboy hats... =P and i found the hat i actually wanted, and took pics w/ that and the sunglasses!! ahha april had nowhere to hide her tag.. =)

so first, april and stella head for the watermelons...~ and eating it UPSIDE DOWN?!... then april and pris went to smell the flower, which is actually made of underwear.... =P so.. pink/flowery.. and lacey... it's underwear alrite

ahha yup that was the little 'fun' part~~ and now i'm so tired i need to sleep har har~~ *yawn*

i'm gonna miss u patty!

2005-02-09T21:24:00.000-05:00

awwww patty ur leaving... =( end of sept.. sigh studio is gonna be so different w/o u!! =/ SIGH... awwww i'll ging ging miss u!!!!~~~ booohoooo *sob* but i'm happy for u!!! =) that ur gonna get married =) hehe i dunno if i can come to ur wedding tho =P haha will see what happens~~ =)

yes! i'm done chem woohooo =) hee i hope i did ok la~ thank god the lab ended earlier~~~ kekekekek~ now can RELAX coz tm's the last day of school luuuu!!! b4 reading week =) muwahhahahahhahhahaha =) yupyup~~ gonna take easy on the work tonite =) kekeke~ anyhooozzz... gonna go watch some tv lu!

having the first glimpse of insanity

2005-02-09T01:41:00.000-05:00

currently i'm on the brink of sanity~... really.. just RIGHT at the edge u kno???... sigh. i'm gonna die tm. i have bio lab then chem midterm. oi! it's so gay~ .. but i avoided that dilemma for so long it's about time i get it -_-" oi hahahaha SAD~ anyhoo.. so yeah. i'm really scared. theres 50 reactions to kno backhand coz need them to synthesize compounds on test.. and oi oi oi oi oi oi ! -_- ahhhhhhhh everything's so rushed!! arg. it's like chinese new yr and i have to write a midterm noooooo *sob*... and when i was talking to my relatives in hk. so jealous! my cousins get 2 weeks off.. no fair =.=~ happy GAI LEEN! sumtimes.. i really wish i'm in hk.. i miss having chinese new yr there.. christmas too~~~....

awww rogers!! i hate rogers!!! i hate it it it it!! arg. now i have to pay for call display?! 'subject to changes' arg i was supposed to get it free for 2 yrs! just coz the plan switched and now they switch it back they can't get it for free anymore... ai~ am MAD... but yeah... gonna stick tot he 25 dollar plan now that i have to pay for call display -_- haha well at least i get free 75 sending txt msg~~ and first 2 months is freee... not too bad~~... another 10 months... OFF THE STUPID CONTRACT! hahahaha~~

alrite. u know. the kitchen has become my new studying place~~ it's so quiet~ i like it~ it's nice.. studying downstairs at 2 in the morning~~ just a still silence yet it's peaceful... and i love wireless in the house =) haha okok~ back into chem... here i go alcohols....

another typical monday~

2005-02-07T19:59:00.000-05:00

so... =P another typical monday.. the hosp was alrite..~~ yeah a lot of walking around and stuffz.. but yeah. sad news came by.. this most amazing positive patient had marrow transplant.. but over the weekend.. went into septic shock and passed away.. so young~ still in mid 30's... the more amazing thing is.. he passed away yesterday morning and the wife called the clinic this morning to thank them. and her attitude is just as positive as he is even tho he's gone now~~... i guess it's good... that thru all this... all they did was pray.. he wrote a beautiful email last week just after he got his transplant... yeah~ it's sad coz tha'ts when they have no white blood cells in their system to help them accept the foreign transplant... but yeah~~ =P really makes u think ur problems are just so tiny compared to others~

i did well in genetics assignment ^^ heee i think i'm realli likeing this subject! =P oi. programs... still faan gun~ oh wellz~ but yeah have to mad study chem... 2 more days.. rewrite reactions over and over and over....

hee~~ not a bad weekend after all.. except~

2005-02-06T17:18:00.000-05:00

except i wonder how did TED rogers make SO MUCH $$$... by RIPPING OFF PEOPLE'S CELLULAR PHONES! i swear to god they make the calculation so COMPLEX so we can never detect when they are slowly sneaking maybe 50 cents... 1 dollar.. i probably got scammed so many times.. until last month i got overcharged 50 bucks when it's part of my plan and it's free mins! grr. so that's not so bad. and then i changed to a ut campus plan rite.. and all of a sudden... yesterday my call display just went DEAD! like ... they took it out when they switched plans or sumthing! IT'S PART OF THE CONTRACT! and then there's these ppl who like to call me and don't leave a darn stupid voicemail~ just expect me to kno they called?! grrr! dats what a VOICEMAIL IS FOR DAMMIT!.. yeah quite mun rite now coz rogers customer service is closed rite now! sigh =.=

yesterday was the first good day in.. mm weeks~~ mm yeah but i still am a little confused about this whole thing.. coz after all dat.. i dunno how to label the relationship anymore.. it's not good friends.. but it's not officially going out.. so it's in b/t? i mean it's possible to have such a state.. but still~~ ai. i just kinda wish he would tell me wat he wants... ng dei ng diu gum.. dou ng jee dim suen ho~~ ...

today wasn't too bad~ went to eat jap w/ irene after church! OMGNESS so much so much food there! but it was good i have to admit ... but HO BAU LOR =) then played this game at fellowship it's so fun! oi i forgot wat's it called again... so stupid! i had to do a dum CATWALK... "model airplane" oi.. lol too bad my group couldn't pick up the clues~ ahha but yeah after dat dru drove me home =) and then we went to gas station and i pumped the gas for him lol~

omg must do chem or else i'm not gonna be ready for that killer midterm this week....

life can be so fragile

2005-02-04T19:16:00.000-05:00

yeah... i guess thru my own experience of it and what i was talking to charlee about today... life is fragile. we never know when it will be taken away from us, thus we should treasure the people around us a lot more. but yeah the past 4 days has been a real learning experience for me, for the first time i really understand what's it like to be SICK. not the minor *oh i'm feeling oozy today*... like the past few days the questions i keep asking myself was a)will i not wake up w/o a fever? for once? b) will i be able to actually eat something that will settle in my stomach for once? c) can i actually stay energetic enough to do some work for once? and d)will i finally be able to cough w/o killing my lungs and ribs? ---- yeah.. finally kno what it feels like when u really wanna eat..but u can't eat.. b/c u physically can't handle it... know wat it feels like.. to never know when the sickness will get worse.. i thought tues nite i'd be ok ... but it took a turn for the worst ever that nite... When i saw the worried look on my mom's face 2 nights ago, i understand y it hurts her so much to see me crying becoz i'm so sick... i'm glad in the end i didn't need to end up in the hospital tho. it's a bad bug alrite.. but not bad enough to send me down a trip to the hospital~ mm but yeah.. i guess just reminds me y i like working at the hospital so much~~ i mean as a volunteer i can't do much, i can just keep things cheery and just talk to them so they won't be so moon and just stare at the blood flowing into their body...~ these guys most of them are terminally ill /cancer patients.. but yeah. really helps me understand the concept of how doing something simple can mean a lot to someone else.. so y not do it u kno? doens't affect u much, but it can change the other person's day around. i still remember when i was working at K wing when i first started at sunnybrook how those old ppl loved me~ b/c i like talking to them and i make them laugh~ =) bring a great remeniscing smile back on my face...~

i guess at the same time, the more reason y we need to help others around us... tell others how much we appreciate them, becoz we may never get a chance to if we don't do it~ ppl can just leave just as sudden as they entered your life...~~ so i guess this valentines, instead of the romantic deal going on. i'm just gonna take my time and just remind everyone how appreciated i am to have them in my life~ haha yes including those of u who are reading this~ =) thank you~ w/o u guys i wouldn't be who i am today... really~

finally!

2005-02-03T22:04:00.000-05:00

i'm proud to say.. for the FIRST time in 4 days. i have no fever for one WHOLE day!!! yay!!!! woohoo... maybe must be that 11 hours i had last nite. my stomach still hurts like crap tho. altho i ate a bit more food today!~~~ but it was takeout. yuck. so fat -_-~ and i finally got some of the stuff that's been stuck in my throat out! oi~ -_- haha but yeah... going to lecture wasn't too bad today.. sigh but yeah do have a lot of homework upcoming.... =P

and i had to treat myself to day.. one nice cup of mocca from second cup. MMMM =) yupyup~ and so i watched the final episode for 'fa yeung jung lin' *the 9pm chinese show* haha it was a pretty dum ending -_-' haha but yeah very interesting~~~

anyhoo... not gonna write anymore~ ouch my throat's hurting.. need some ha song guk tim~ =P hee and please, next time if u comment can u write ur name? sumtimes the stuff u guys write.. ic an't tell who is who!~ -_- relalie >.< hee thx!~~~~

Day 3 of sickness... not much change~

2005-02-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

yup... still not much improvement... almost got sent to the hospital last nite.. b/c i fell down in the bathroom twice after having extreme pain in the abdomen... like pms dou ng wui hurt so much lor!... i was crying so hard coz i was gonna eat cough medicine but then the pain came again and my mom stepped in and she thought i hurted myself. i was like no it's killing down here.. so then i lied down.. omg turns out it's not stomach cramps.. my intestines were cramping apparently b/c the virus got into my digestive system after attacking my respiratory system... -_- couldn't get much sleep last nite coz of the pain yet had to do a chem lab at like 8:30am this morn.. omg~ chem labs have never been such a killer... unless ur sick.. and ur forced to concentrate on looking at these little things, u can't blow ur nose, u can't cough even tho everytime u breathe u want to.. standing for 4 hours... oi when i got onto the subway i just melted into the seat.. not realizing i dind't eat yet -_- but yeah then bused over to mom's clinic to see the doc... it's not the flu! omg... this is gay. it's some V-- virus. i forgot wat's it called... and then i was sleeping in one of the clinic rooms until dad picked me up to go eat~

2 things i learned today besides never do a chem lab when ur sick as a dog: a) when ur relaly sick, make sure u don't go onto a crowded subway train... and worse of all. dont' stand in the middle in b/t the doors..~ that section is the warmest. omgness i almost fainted in the subway b/c of the heat and suffocation~ coz my fever was still up this morning~ and then the lady next to me looked at me as if i was drunk... b/c i had to rest my head on those poles... -_-. i was late for lab. already feel like shit ga la... and the TA wasn't being very nice at the beginning.. i think i failed my quiz.. haha oh well~ but then i did the lab.. all was cool until i realize mine is the kind where u have to add two liquids to dissolve so have to 'adjust concentrations'... well it worked in solubility test but when it came to actually mass making the crystals. NOTHING PRECIPITATED! arg i was so mad b/c dat means i have no crystals and i'm screwed but then i dunked it in ice bath and then still no sign so i used the little bit i had from the first run thru but it got all stuck onto the filter paper! so out of anger i looked at the one in the ice bath this time crystals formed so i was like whew so i vaccumed those crystals dry and they're so LIGHT! and fluffy. almost like cotton! -_- almost flew apart when i brought it to the weight to measure my yield -_-~ oi. iw as the last one to leave the lab... so sad~ -_-

b) second lesson: do not sit next to a guy who acts like he's sleeping but secretly he's farting. i got onto the subway and being so tired coz iw as standing for 5 hours straight w/o resting, i was sitting and i kept getting these funny smells... and my nose is half clogged, but when u smell sumthing U SMELL SOMETHING. so then i looked over to this big chinese man who was sitting beside me.. and he was 'sleeping'~ -_- OR SO I THOUGHT!... and the smell just got worse but my legs were so numb i couldn't move them~... but when it almost got to finch i just bolted up and went to the door... good thing, b/c when HE got to finch he 'woke up automatically' and got up.. see so far all i smelt was the LITTLE bits.. when he got up.. it was like THE BOMB~ i've never experienced the M-bomb b4/ but this was pretty bad~ coz his BIG BUTT has been covering it the whole time.. it was like a deadly weapon... -_- but yes. next time. i'll sit next to the ladies, i don't trust sitting next to men anymore...~

anyhooz... gonna start doing some CHEM... -_- haha~

i feel relaly crappy...

2005-02-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

yeah.. not fun to be sick... to be THIS sick... sigh~ i woke up today feeling like a truck ran over me or something~ sigh. i dragged myself out of bed becoz i have a quiz to write today so i really needed to go to tutorial. but then when i left i realized i forgot so much things at home~ -_- so incredibly stupid. when i got down i was sweating whenever i was indoors.. i don't know y.. and i talk like a man or i have to yell just to get a squeaky low voice out, ppl can't hear what i'm saying all the time... grr~ but went ot class anyway.. and just felt worse and worse as the day went by.. i'm coughing so much i sound like my lungs are gonna come out or sumthing... scary~ and i have to bend over.. y does it hurt so darn much? i'm like crying everytime i'm coughing b/c there's so much pain near my chest!~ by the time i went to chem i was shivering inside an extremely warm lecture hall.. i knew my fever came back.. but i didn't eat anything today.. besides a small muffin so after class i ate the apple coz i dont' want advil to make holes in my stomach =P then rested in the library for a bit b4 going to tutorial.. and found out no quiz to write! but at least i learned how to do stats...~ but then ding ng seun. i needed to go home coz i can't even walk... just too tired to do anything.. but yeah finally got home.. felt better after eating some rice.. but whole body still feels all wacked out of shape gum... ho chi bei yun da jor gay sup chui~ -_-... everywhere hurts, my joints, my chest, my stomach...~ feel like i'm melting into yut pet yei gum -_-~ but yeah... eating antibiotics now b4 even seeing doc b/c want to eliminate the chance of bronchitis, since i had it b4 i'm more disposed to it if i get flu again~ i'm so mun... b/c i need to do all this work but then i can't b/c i don't have the strength to do it... i feel so helpless..~

sorry for those of you who saw me and kept telling me to go home~ i'll be fine ga la.. as long as i sleep more and drink more water..~ anyhoo.. should do some chem b4 i sleep~ i swear.. whoever's spreading this virus around!.... not very pleased w/ u...

oh nooo... y now... -_-

2005-01-31T23:10:00.000-05:00

4:42pm: just as a new week was starting to look not so bad after all... i get the stomach flu -_-"... i went to hospital w/ a cough ( i hope the patients don't get sick but i dont' wanna cancel again coz i was coughing last wk) so i thought it'd go away.. but as the day progressed... it turned into sore throat, my voice is dropping so bad, and i felt light-headed. i went out of the wrong exit at finch not remember the entire conversation i have w/ my mom b4 i went on the subway... good thing she just happened to pass the wrong exit before getting the kiss-and-ride ja... -_- so i went home... wanna check if i have fever coz if i do i don't wanna teach the kids coz they'll get sick.. -_-" great.. i do have a fever.. no wonder always fut laan fut yeet la -_-"... *groan* y now!! -_- i have a lot of work due this week ma.. i can't skip school tm, and i have to sleep at michelle's.. have to swim ... ai. and that time of month. everything together...oh gosh... this is nutz~ -_- anyway... feeling drowzy now.. gonna sleep~... too tired to do anything ...zzzzzzzzzz~

7 hours later....

sigh! so much for sleeping! i tried so hard to sleep. kinda dozed off but not relaly.. kinda woke up an hour and half later and tried to go back to sleep but couldn't... i dunno y for sum reason i just kept thinking about the same thing over and over and over... omgness wats happening to me.. i can't get it out of my mind! -_- sigh... but yeah. and then i was sweating so much b/c i'm so yeet~ sigh. then when it came to dinner.. i ate like one little bowl of hin hok fun... b/c i was already full. everything taste so bleh when one is sick... sigh~ haha i found out i lost 3 pounds this month.. this is b/c i'm so poor i have no money for food~ =P haha but yeah. nowadays whatever i have i eat. as long as i'm full it's fine~ don't really care about what kinda food i eat anymore~ =P and then i'm trying to do work. i coudlnt' do my chem prep i kept asking jaquie coz my mind was just so groggy and slow working.. -_-" and now i'm trying to finish my stats and maybe do some chem tonite~ midterm next week...~ but yeah... man so fast already nearing the middle of the term lu~~ soon it'll be over! yay! =P haha~ anyhoo.. back to work.. i still have to sleep at mich's tm nite... awww and i'm sick.. >.< can't go swimming on wed w/ ti either... grr~

the skies are now clear.... the sun is back~ =)

2005-01-31T01:22:00.000-05:00

hehe see i told u after this weekend i'll be back to myself again~~ tai hoi saai lu~~ =P i guess.. yeah sum things will jsut take time to learn.. but all this has really made me honestly question myself y things ended the way it ended... and now after thinking, i personally knew why. After talking to my mom... my goodness.. sh'es the best mom one can ever have.. she may seem mean.. but she really isn't ga~ i was talking to her.. and her words had more effect on me than anyone else who've talked to me this weekend *sorrie guys =P hehe mom rules =P* but yeah... i realize i've been pretty stupid all along.. i guess i was just always afraid thus i always thought i was under some restriction thing.. but after talking to my mom... oi~ she's always full of surprises.. i realize it was becoz i never dared to ask that caused so much problems...~ i just assumed... while she never knew so i shoudln't have blamed things on her... sigh yeah~ oi. haha i love this feeling coz i finaly figured out what's wrong.. yet at the same time i hate myself for making things turn out like dat... i guess.. yeah these few months maybe it is better to just concentrate. pull my grades to at least a B+ and then school will be much easier for me after dat~~ can always try things again in the future gei.. but now i know that.. the next time things do start over again... it'll be very different than now, because i've learned so many things about myself that i need to change and stuff...~ i'm learning ga la... gimme a few months~ and i shall grow up a lot =P yupyup~~ and i guess can use this period to really see what God wants me to do as a career too. coz i'm totally totally mindless clueless about it~ yupyup~ see.. always sunshine after the rain.. i knew prayers always work~ =) now i can see y he was so angry w/ me... oi~ i must have looked really stupid to him >.< haha oh well~~ if u are reading this... u don't need to worry about me anymore ga la~ me relaly mo yea~~ and i agree w/ everything u said~~ =)

anyway. omgness! crap i have to sleep la tm have to wake up EARLIE.... *groan* haha new day new day!! must not groan =)

timmies ---- jacquie's house

2005-01-30T18:48:00.000-05:00

Listening To: Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

this song is quite nice...i like it~~ actually helps me concentrate on hmwk?.. hmmm

yup. so just came home in time from jacquie's place... haha i got a call from gordon at 4 saying timmie's is packed.. so we went to jacquie's house instead. went over the stuff and then fooled around/talking haha~ mainly ti's me, gord and jacquie doing the talking coz momo is copying my answers =P haha~ but yeah.. it was SOOO funny tho... b/c they're all cbc's... haha they can talk chinese.. but when it comes to writing.. it was hilarious...=)

gord was trying to say he's a good guy so he wrote "我是一個好..." but then when i saw the sentence, i read it as "我是一個女子.." aha so i said WAT?! u wrote ur a gurl! haha which is kinda true. he IS such a woman~ everytime we diss him he does this hand motion down the cheek as 'fake tears'.. hahaha SIGH... and he drags other guys to the bar and sit w/ him like loners drinking.. -_-" so dumb~ haha so then yeah he forgot how to write 男... haha~ so i wrote 男仔 and i put a small "not" on top w/ an arrow pointing to him~ and he didn't notice so he's like yeah! thats the "laam" jee!! haha but then he saw the not ahhahahhaa omg siu sei yun lor~ and then me and him were like arguing in chinese while momo and jacquie was laughing their heads off... coz everything i say he's like nooo ng ho la. tai maa fan. i was like it's about time to use some of ur FAY GO u kno~ hahahahaha~ seriously.. that guy is getting so chubby. even his fingers have lumps of fat in it now! -_-" oi haha~ did he not learn in nutrition!!! EXERCISE -_- hahahah~

yeah it's been fun~ gonna go to jaquie's place on friday again to do the second assignment together.. i hoep they don't rely on me.. they did that for the one due tm and i hope the answers are right otherwise.. i'll have 3 ppl on my neck -_-" hee~

alrighty back to chem lab.. must finish and do some reading tonite~...

back to reality....

2005-01-30T15:40:00.000-05:00

yeah.. after feeling quite horrible for 2 days.. reality snaps back in and it's about time i do some actual work. sigh~ there just seem so much... endlessly... awww *SIGH*~ i'm trying to enjoy it all.. but really.. who wants to take stats221 wor... it's a pain in the rear end~ yeah~ mm these days i do find myself quieter... more reflective i guess... i tend to often zone out of things... altho i did pay attention in sunday school and service~ mm yeah~ ... lately just really.. i dunno... all of a sudden everything just seems so doubtful.. like i'm not sure of anything... feeling kinda lost again... asking God to help me.. but so far i havne't reached a conclusion as to if i really want to go on the missions trip.. i guess i wanna go for the right reasons gwa~ mm i dunno. gonna spend this week a lot more in prayer.. b/c there's so much on my mind rite now... dun really kno how to say it.. but i usually keep the more private thoughts in my own writing journal~ just for myself to read kinda thing~...

mm yeah... dunno.. after today... yes in some sense i feel better.. but at the same time there's just this lingering ache inside me.. i guess i'm just not used to all these mentality changes all of a sudden gwa~... well time heals things.. so i'll get over it eventually~~ just a matter of when jei~~... mm yeah i dunno... sumtimes i ask myself is it possible to just go on.. not missing him... not thinking about him?.. i think dats pretty impossible... sumtimes just wanna call him b/c hearing his voice makes my day seem to go better~ but then i don't want to give the impression that i'm being annoying either... yeah, wanting so much yet can't have kinda thing... i can only rely on God to get used to this~ i need to actually concentrate on the things i do i guess...~ but if once in a while the thought comes up in my head and i can't get rid of it.. then so be it~ can't stop liking him anyway...=P

alright... time to hit timmies and find out if i did the assignment correctly... -_-

haha coincidence or what...

2005-01-29T19:33:00.000-05:00

you know, it's funny that i actually typed 'HAHA' in the title. coz honestly i feel far from laughing. i wanna punch something. i want to faat seet on somebody... i already did dat on 2 people... but they understand so tha'ts ok~ i didn't eat until i forced myself to, i tried at least. i threw away the ohter half. now i don't want to eat dinner either... i can't~ my stomach feels full... oh well, i can stand to lose a few pounds anyway~

last nite me and him talked about a lot of things... w/ both sides being charged.. of coz it won't be such a good ending~ well.. what's done is done. haha how ironic... to pick exactly 5 months to break things apart...~ how can he just expect me to just go on and pretend everything's ok? coz i don't know how he has the heart to actually do that... becoz i can't~... unbelievably... this hurts like shit. i guess if it's the first time.. it's ok.. but it's not the first time... 2 times dou hai gum.. so ironic that we even talked about all these future plans.. rite now i honestly don't kno... but what i want no longer matters... sigh it should be about what God wants gei... easy to say, hard to actually let Him do that~

hmmm.. a pause in the relationship... does that mean everytime we can't find time to see each other we have a PAUSE in the relationship? i'm sorry but i don't know if it can work like that~ if u get the concept of long-d relationships..~ maybe ur not used to it.. but my past 2 relationships were long-d~ and the situation was even worse than this... maybe dats y i don't see it as big of a problem as this...~ coz i honestly don't kno when 'when we have time' means~ gum of coz there will be times when things aren't so right... there will always be differences.. there will always be periods of time where there just isn't enough time to see each other.. so wat? it's temporary. whatever.. suen la... i'll get on w/ it~

it's easy to just say yeah i'm gonna let it go for now.. when ti's so hard to do~ i guess maybe part of me is scared of what will happen later gwa...~ part of me misses him terribly and want to call him so bad... but the other part of me doesn't want to coz he'll think i'm calling him up for no reason... sumtimes it doesn't matter what we talk about.. just hearing his voice is already good enough...

i have to stop getting so emotional all the time! arg y did he have to do it at this time.. everything is already going wacko.. and now this...

maybe i'm not good enough for u... mite as well try to find someone else who can fulfill all those things that you wanted, that i can't seem to give you...

I wanna thank you~

2005-01-27T22:41:00.000-05:00

They say if you love something let it go
If it comes back it´s yours
And that´s how you know
It´s for keeps, yeah, it´s for sure
And it´s lucky for me you understand

What a girl wants, what a girl needs
Whatever makes me happy sets you free
And I´m thanking you for giving it to me
What a girl wants, what a girl needs
Whatever keeps me in your arms
And I´m thanking you for being there for me

random quiz

2005-01-27T02:33:00.000-05:00

talking to ah mui rite now and she was asking me which x-men character she is... haha she's the same one as me =):

You are Storm! You are very strong and very protective of those
you love. You are in tune with nature and are
very concerned with justice and humanity.
Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears
are very hard for you to overcome, and can
often inhibit you when most need to be strong.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

yup Storm it is =) heee~ i should sleep...

so here it is.. the microscope lab

2005-01-26T19:00:00.000-05:00

haha so today was the bio lab... all in all it wasn't too bad...~ haha well started off w/ the quiz... which... i hope i did ok~ ie. pass =P haha~ and today is microscopy so then we had to calibrate our microscopes (set them to standard) but OI! i don't understand y it takes so long.. the other lab groups are so slow!~ me and my lab partner were just sitting there like -_-" becoz we were waiting and can't even use the microscope coz we dont' even have SLIDES to look at yet -_-" haha~

then finally.. we got the exciting part... we get to use this little scapel and scrap off hairs on the stems of a tomato plant and look at it in the microscope. then we're supposed to look at this 'cytoplasmic streaming' which is basically u can see in the cell there's this 'current' running thru carring a lot of particles and wat not~ then we had to FIND those little mitochondria and time how fast they move~ -_-" omgness. at first i coudlnt' see anything in cell moving. i was like omg is my hair cell dead.. haa but then i saw those little streams of stuff moving IT WAS SO COOOLLL!!!!! haha yes high on bio~ =) but it's so awesome! those little things moving like one micrometer per second~ =)

i made the ULTIMATE MISTAKE going into the lab: i wore my contacts. Me thinking so smart dind't want glasses to bug me so i wore contacts to class .... oi~ when u look at microscope u don't blink.. and yeah~ u kno wat i mean. ARG i was quite frustrated having to keep blinking my eyes... and i dunno wat's w/ compound microscopes. it's so hard to look at them using both eyes!~ like u have to HOLD ur head in place to keep looking at it; there's no 'rest' where u can just put ur head there and just look~ -_-" venetia gave up on the microscope so i had to look at it and do the paperwork for dat part while she answered the txtbk-related quesitons haha~ then we put the hair under fluorescence and see which parts of the cell fluorese~ now that was cool~~ =)

then the crunch came... my group got the highest in the in class assignment *yes the lab where we had to read these 'scientific sentences' and reword them so it's more 'efficient' but then... i failed my prelab SO bad i knew i screwed it up the minute i went to the lab~ but it was too late haha~ so i ended up w/ like 21.5/58 -_- which means... even tho i got a high mark in my in class.. i still failed this last lab haha~ oh well =) hope the others won't be that bad =)

anyhooozzzz hee have to catch up on hmwk coz been so bz w/ this and that due =P
STOP.

world of snow~

2005-01-25T23:26:00.000-05:00

please forgive me for i'm about to offend many ppl. YES, I LIKE SHOVELLING SNOW~ relaly.. i do! esp when ur shovelling while snow is falling around u.. at night... it's SO PRETTY! i love it... every moment of it~ it's fun~ =) hehe i dunno y i have such a liking fo rit. but i love playing around w/ snow~~ it's so soft.. haa wish i can just go to my backyard and make a snow angel... =P Another reason y i love it so much is that it gives me such a great sense of peace when i'm there.. just watching the snow fall around me... it's one of the most pretty things in nature~~ yes a few days later it gets ugly. but at the moment... it's breathtaking... wow~ ^^

so today i was about to make lunch when i realize there's NOTHING TO EAT -_- NOT EVEN BREAD! goodness... -_- so i had to eat at foodcourt~ arg should've gotten KFC.. toonie tues!! SIGH... but again dat'll go against my 'nutritionness' kakakka~ sooo =P yeah~ then had class and during the con hall break.... haha i was just chilling w/ sam and momo and vanessa.. then mel came along and start telling us her research jokes kkakakaka~ sam was so mean bout it haha~ lemme try to give u a few ones she said:

What do u use to eat DNA spaghetti?

REPLICATION FORK!

What do molecular biologist wear...

DESIGNER GENES!

hahahah... SO CORNY but it was funny =)then after class i tried to eat at the library but no seats... and then i tried to eat at the arbor room. STILL NO ROOM sigh end up going inside hart house to eat dinner~~ =p which was cool~ bumped into this girl who is my friend's friend *i forgot her name again!* sigh~ =P haha oh well~~ she had stats too ^^... and then omgness. today at stats.. i had THE ULTIMATE DIARRHEA... sigh. id unno what the heck i ate wrong~ but it was hurting SO BAD i coudlnt' even remember what my TA was teaching ... coz i needed to kno it to do the quiz.. =P haha oi as soon as i was done *after suffering one whole hour* i belted out of VIC and ran into the washroom at NF...~ -_-" so i was like... 20 mins late for class =P oh well~ wasn't feeling well ma =P hee~

and now i should stop talking... becoz i have to FINISH MY BIO LAB! omgomgomg~ =P hehee looks like i'll stay up for another good few hours... =P

p.s. thx for the songs irene~ i will keep them for future use.. and they do sound so nice =)

slightest change...

2005-01-25T01:21:00.000-05:00

hmmm i guess... just wanted to thank him gei.. for the past week anyway...~ i've had a very rough week. and i'm about to have an even worse week... and everytime he does send me txt msgs... it makes my day~ really. no matter how bad things have gone and stuff~ it really does... i guess knowing at least that someone cares *i kno God does too haha but u kno wat i mean* that feeling is very nice~ =)

well.. i give it up. i do. i've gotten tot he point where i'm so broken that i kno i can't go thru this alone... yes human support it would be nice. but relaly. sumtimes. they can be a disappointment *there are exceptions* but yeah i decide to turn to God first~ i prayed just now.. and the feeling was so powerful. i guess these emotions have hidden inside me for so long that for once i could come before Him and just admit that i'm very broken down and that i need Him~ i do... i can't deny it anymore and think i can solve it by myself, becoz i really can't~ and i guess it was more like overjoy that i could cry.. they became from sad to happy tears~ just feeling that sense of peace within me, knowing that no matter how bad things can do to me... he'll always be on my side helping me up~ i now understand y hannie is so excited about prayers.. she got 'high on god' *quoting her*~ i kno they do work.. i guess i just lately forgot about the power of it~ so~ =P i've done all that i could. it's up to God now~

Listening to: Britney Spears - When your eyes say it

2005-01-24T21:06:00.000-05:00

walking alone in a field of snow is always the perfect time... time to find peace, time to find urself...~ after enjoying that small piece of heaven reality smacks back to u in the face and u just feel very powerless... u long for that peace... that quietness that u just had moments ago...

and i yet wonder if i feel that way w/ God... I find myself saying yes to this thought. not just setting a time alone w/ just me and him, but i can kinda feel him everywhere i go~... i guess lately i've been so down all the time, that God is kinda nudging me from time to time to remind me that he will still be here. no matter how bad things turn out he'll still be there... and he's there to tell u that things will get better... i guess i feel like all my energy has been drained out of me, thus i have no motivationt to talk or even be my old self~ i'm slowly finding it back~ =) yeah.. it's hard sumtimes... but just have to get used to dealing w/ it.. ignoring certain things... becoz i'm tired of always thinking too much or even start to luen lum yei~ i do, i can't help it~ but i guess i'm too sensitive to ppl in general~ good and bad... good becoz i can sense when sumthing is wrong.. bad becoz it can really ruin my day sumtimes becoz of dat~

speaking of little things... today some things have brought an occasional smile on my face. not those fake paste-on ones.. like truly smile as if i can feel my eyes betraying my emotion~ it's happened before but today it happened again =P haha~ i was on the subway, and i was sitting on those two-seaters facing the direction the train is moving right... and then in comes this large lady who sat rite in front of me, sideways. now i was studying genetics *last minute desperate attempt* so my binder was spread out in front of me. and for a sec i dozed off and when i woke up i was like oh hey cool my binder didn't fall off. then i realized why. becoz the binder had dug into the lady's 'hip' side area -_-" oi. and i dind't kno what to do becoz she dind't seem to notice it and then i was like so embarrassed trying to pull it out of her *becoz it was STUCK in her* =P oi haha~ i had to like slide off my chair a bit to let it out w/o her noticing >.< oi~ haha~ but it was so funny.. this gurl sitting across the aisle saw it and she was trying to keep a straight face =P haha~ and then today we had chem right.. after chem we like ran out of class to escape the crowd... that's when i noticed steph already left! grr i should've left ten minutes early i thought.. but then u kno, running on snow, takes extra energy. considering the whole day today all i ate for lunch was apiece of bread w/ an egg becoz there's no food in the house!~ so me and my friend jackie were RUNNING to trin college where our genetics quiz was supposed to be. and we kept saying 'oh crap oh crap we're gonna be late' but then we couldnt' run anymore becoz it's already hard enough to walk int he snow w/ the WRONG shoes~ sigh~ =P haha finally we ran into the classroom, totally out of breath,sat down and the TA's like... so classs... y don't we do the quiz in the LAST 30 mins of class... oi~ my face turned red~ -_- coz i felt so stupid i ran all the way there from queen's park just so i'll be ready for the quiz.. -_-" and the quiz was long! oi. 2 pages... for 30 mins and ti's not even like MC.. have to WRITE in answers =P haha~ then becoz of that. i ran late and i needed to go to washroom *been holding since chem lecture*. but problem is i couldn't coz mary was waiting for me at the subway... -_-" so i ran to subway.. sat in subway... went home... and finally i could go to the washroom =P *haha sorry i kno it mite be gross. but when nature calls.. u go~ =) never good to hold it in!!* oh well~ sigh now i have to have a little minitab battle w/ these stats problems.. gonna attempt third week in a row.. =P hope i get the whole thing done this time... =P

just some random thoughts...

2005-01-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

hmmm today really made me think..about everything seriously.. from perhaps a different perspective. I guesss, when it comes down to it, i still am quite spiritually immature sometimes. There are still so many things i need to improve on... and it's true that it's all becoz of pride that's why i've never realized these things. becoz i think i kno better and stuff.. i've already been much better... university has really humbled me in some aspects...

someone once asked me why do i plan all these things.. why do i do so many things in my life. I pondered about it.. and i came up w/ some answers. Firstly, i enjoy most of the things i'm doing. I like learning things... becoz everytime i do, i feel even more amazed at God, for most of these things come back to Him. I like trying things, becoz i feel no harm to it; worst come to worst u'll just kno ur' not meant for it so u never do it again~ which is why i've decided to go on the mission's trip. coz i mean.. everyone says 'oh i'm not ready' but honestly, who are u kidding? we'll never be READY...there's always room for improvement becoz we're not perfect!~ as long as u have a burden for it. or even an interest. I mean we'll be trained and everything too so i don't see y not go and try~ i guess, there really is no harm in trying, as Christians we eventually have to do missions anyhow~ it's a commandment~ Secondly, i feel that life is more meaningful in many ways by doing so many things. I love working in the hospital. Why? becoz it makes me feel like i'm contributing something small that will help the ppl who are staying at the hospital feel less depressed. NO one likes to live in a hospital. YOu're only there becoz ur really sick~ and i guess just us going in there a few hours of a week just to help them w/ little things, already brings a smile to their face,becoz they feel the love, becoz they feel like ppl haven't forgotten about them. I kno i complain about teaching a lot...but deep inside i kno i'm not truly complaining~ I love doing what i'm doing i guess~ maybe not like 7 days a week~ but doing a bit is good i feel~ u get to deal w/ kids. and Yes it has future uses. i'm not joking. but i love working with kids. I guess sumtimes i envy their innocence.. how to them the world seem so perfect.. so naive yet it brings a smile back to my face~ =) i guess sum of them just kinda became 'my kiddies' hha coz i've watched them grow~ and also knowing how much they appreciate you for making piano for them so fun... is touching~ =) I guess i've had my share of bad teachers and my last teacher left a great impression on me and kinda inspire me to do the same for my piano kids too~ i wanna do a good job. TEaching isn't just a job. u have to spend time and effort on it~ i regularly plan out how to teach my individual kids, becoz they're all at different levels~ and when they perform it excites you becoz you know you've helped them along the way to achieve these things..~~ Lastly, i plan ahead becoz i want to. no i don't plan as in i control wat's gonna happen... but i would like to hear from God at least what direction he wants me to go to becoz i wanna be prepped for it~~~ it's exciting to do things for God!~ *most of the time* but yeah.. i guess i'm always planning onward becoz i want to kno wha'ts coming so i can prep and be excited about it!~ and that way, u won't feel as lost if u continually seek for Him for advice, becoz i mean it takes a while to kinda realize how to ask God for advice~

yeah honestly... sometimes i do get frustrated.Sumtimes i feel like i don't want to do it... like devotions. there are days where i just wish i can turn off the light and sleep.. but i can't do that.. i'llfall asleep on the devotion if i have to~ becoz it's not so much about the outcome.. it's rather the consistency and the meaning of just doing it sumtimes u kno? the whole meaning that you're leraning more about God and trying to communicate with Him. i get so annoyed w/ ppl when they just say they can't reach God, when they don't even bother to try to communicate w/ Him. talk is nothing; if you're just gonna sit on ur behind and just wait for things to feed to you or find their way to you. it won't happen~ that's y we need to be proactive~~~ sigh i dunno.. there's so many thoughts running in my head right now. but my brain is a bit tired and i should study for my genetics quiz and attempt my stats problem set~~~

I will still...

2005-01-22T23:36:00.000-05:00

Time will take us apart that's true
But I will always be there for you
You're in my heart and you'll be in my dreams
No matter how many miles between
I promise you that I won't forget
The day we kissed or the day we met
The sky may fall and the stars may too
But I will still, I will still love you

i wish i knew...

2005-01-22T21:03:00.000-05:00

how do u deal w/ men sumtimes?
what do you do when u feel like there's nothing to talk about becoz each other seems so different?....
i dunno.. these days.. i'm not as chirpy as i used to be...~ maybe just becoz i'm so fatigued all the time... all these burdens and stuff...~ mm i dunno~... sigh~ already this weekend i'm so loaded w/ school work...~ sigh.i have no time to do anything~...
then there's other problems... sigh i dunno... everything is just so pressuring sumtimes.. i just wish i can drop everything and just not think~
maybe i should stop trying.. maybe i try too hard.. try too hard to make things work...maybe i should just stop and not care about anything anymore..~ i have no motivation.. the usual sources of motivation have been scraped out of my sight right now... dunno~ sumtimes i really feel like i've been taken for granted.~ i mean. y do ppl even bother to talk to me? i used to be random. now i've lost it.~ i used to be funny. now i'm not anymore becoz i don't seem to have that effect on ppl anymore~ what happened to who i used to be... i wish i knew~ it makes me feel insecure if everything's all of a sudden changing around me...

sometimes i run...
sometimes i hide
sometimes i'm scared of you..
but all i really want is to hold you tight...
treat you right
be with you day and night...
baby, all i need is time~

p.s. oh irene, you amuse me too much~ =)

Listening to: Shining Friends

2005-01-16T22:53:00.000-05:00

A little faith
Brightens a rainy day
Life is difficult you can go away
Don't hide yourself in a corner
You have my place to stay

Sorrow is gonna say goodbye
Opens up
You'll see the happy sunshine
Keep going on with your dream
Chasing tomorrow sunrise
The spirit can never die

Sun will shine, my friend
Won't let you cry, my dear
Seeing you shed a tear ,make my world disappear
You'll never be alone in darkness

See my smile, my friend
We are with you, holding hands
you have got to believe ,you are my destiny
We're meant to be your friends
That's what a friend should be

What a stupid day..

2005-01-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

haha today was a pretty bad day in general. i woke up late, still groggy from sleep la... i went to the subway station.. realizing that i left my WALLET at hoome...~ and got nagged by dad coz of dat..~ ho choi gong duc chi realize ja. otherwise SO SCREWED.~ so i just carried $50 in my pocket all day~ yupyup~ then yau raining wor... yau mo umbrella... so had to dup sup saai...~ then after meeting up w/ mich i went to lab... then i almost went into the wrong lab... =P and then lab was so boring. and i screwed up jor ngor gor prelab assignment... oh well~ then lab was editing 'sentences' to make them sound better.. i mean' please find 2 flaws in this paragraph' how can i find if they all sound so correct! i can't even tell which one is a fact and which one is a writer's conclusion =P not a typical bio lab lor if u kno wat i mean~ and then i went to second cup for a nice caramel coretto and reading there.. so nice~ well i wanted to shop initially coz lab end early jor.. but since i had no WALLET on me... then i went home...

kay sud dou not too bad gei.. maybe i just have a dislike for rainy days jei... but i still thank God for it anyway... God has been knockign at my head the past few days... and i wanna personally thank some of u *u kno who u are* w/o u guys i dunno what i'd do.. w/ God's help u have become his little msgers, teaching me some lifelong unforgettable lessons~ u guys are great~~ =P

Reflection... of my mind~

2005-01-09T16:39:00.000-05:00

wow.. hha i guess once u hit bottom pit.. one slowly raises oneself up again...~ today church was really great... becoz lately i've been doing a lot of thinking and i guess i knew sumthing was bugging me the whole time. but i just decided to keep it quiet becoz i wanted to be sure this is what i wanna do b4 i say anything~...

i have a burden for missions. it's weird. because i don't particularly enjoy it. For years God kept nudging me to do this... i could feel him telling me 'go, this is what u should do'... yet i just kept ignoring it... thinking 'no, this is NOT my thing...' haha but God is humourous coz he kept shoving it back in my face... opportunities... just so many things. make me kno that God is pointing me in this direction.. tho i'm still not sure, last month when i lead my group for clothing run... i dunno~ this strange feeling swept over me.. and i am still not over it yet even now..~ and when today's announcement for short-term missions came up.. it was just kinda like. sumthing i have been looking for and now that i've found a clue that kind of feeling...something inside me told me i just had to go~ i just coudln't miss it... so i went~ mm yeah~ i can feel God is working in me... and i guess lately i've always been praying for his guidance in so many things.. and he's really helped me out a lot this week.~ yeah thx God~ i'm always happy dat i can feel him confirming his message to me~ and i guess from CCF till today.. these few days i'm really trying hard to seek God...~ i guess i haven't lost my thirst for God after all~ =) it's all coming back to me~ ^^.. today's sermon really made me think too~ i dunno if i am supposed to go to the US and do short-term missions this summer.. but i guess thru prayer for the next few weeks, hopefully i should get a clearer answer from Him~

...~ this song, spoke directly to my heart today.. i just couldn't get it out of my mind:

You gave it all for me
My soul desire, my everything
And all I am is devoted to You

How could I fail to see
You are the love that rescued me
And all I am is devoted to You

And oh, how could I not be moved
Lord here with You
So have Your way in me
Cause Lord, there is just one thing
That I will seek

This is my cry
My one desire
Is to be where You are, Lord
Now and forever
Its more than a song
My one desire
Is to be with You
Is to be with You, Jesus

i don't know what's going to come ahead of me for the next few months, in terms of summer school, summer job and all dat~ i'm sure if somehow, someway~ God will provide the means for me... because i no longer want to let other things get in my way of serving God... even if it means i might not be able to work at the same job i had last summer~... i'm hoping even if i am gone for one week.. that they'll still hire me.. but i dunno~ i guess i'll just wait and see what He says =)

i'm such a burden... aren't i~

2005-01-06T22:54:00.000-05:00

so many things running in my head....
i dunno what to do anymore...
i wish i can make things better...
i wish i can make u happy...
i tried... but nothing seems to work...
i can't even bring back a smile on ur face the way i used to...

randomness

2005-01-05T23:54:00.000-05:00

so today was stay home day. NO LABS YET! WOOHOO

so i was in the car listening to the chinese radio... and randomly they were talking about what things gurls what guys to kno the most~ so i'll tell what i remember:

- gurls dont' miss the guys every single minute. they're humans, there are times when their minds are occupied.. hm i suppose thats good gei~ otherwise.. wui miss dou SEI -_-
- guys don't have to be lang jai, but they have to be clean. needless to comment on that one~ =P but i'ts true!
- when the gurls cry, whether it's the gurl's or the guy's fault, still need to be tum by the guy. another true thing~ =P - when gurls see a cute guy, yes they will look. yup. looking doesn't equal liking~ it just means that person is cute ga... altho this doens't too apply to me~ =P
- gurls have favourite actors and male artists. yes. there's multiple~ and when they do go crazy... again.. it's only becoz they look cute~ =P it doesn't mean anything~

hmm yeah~ sigh~ i feel so moody today. i'm poor thx to UT, my nose is running like crazie, my tummy is having the worst cramps...

... just makes me wish even more that he can be here w/ me....

so ripped off

2005-01-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

so here i am, back to university reality again... *SIGH!* and i discover i'm getting poorer and poorer~ THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS. 窮到出汁... so not funny -_-" at first i figure ok 2 sets of txtbks that's around $270... but then now all the other courses require me to buy LITTLE things... that EVENTUALLY ADD UP to another 80 bucks. and then i went down early today to get my metropass, only to discover the pass is selling TOMORROW. wats the point in getting it tm then?! grr. back to tokens for another 2 months~

so i went to my first class. great! haha i have to review all my first yr orgo chem -_-" haha~ but yeah. other than dat... mm things are ok?... yeah~ felt so alone today. coz i didn't realize my firends went to the 1 oclock chem lecture. stupid me ishould've done dat!

p.s. my hair is now RED. =) sick~

first day of 2005.. and i get sick

2005-01-01T16:06:00.000-05:00

GING MAD LOR~ sigh. first day jau sick already... oi~ this is so stupid! every time i start a new term jau get sick... >.< no FUN~

last nite's new yr party was fun~... i wasn't DRUNK!=P but yeh i was very tired.. dunno y tim~ but yeah i drank like a cooler and some baileys and then i was like x_x for a little bit~ but yeah the party was fun~ =P haha doing random stuff. i took a bunch of pics and yay! can go get them developed lu~~ tonite going to hidee's house!.. yupyup~

sigh... 開學之後... 會好掛住BB添... 太慣日日到可以見到... 入o左waterloo, 得我一個係Toronto... >.< only 周末先見到... aiya~

oh well... i have to learn to deal w/ it~ =P >.<

ok~ back to more knitting~ =)
here's wat i have so far:

so broke! and almost going back to school... >.<

2004-12-30T15:09:00.000-05:00

SIGH!
yeahhhhh... sux sux~ school's starting on monday.. it'll be so weird.. not being able to see charlee everyday >.< oi~ well at least i have a good schedule~ and i guess i'll stick to 4 subjects~ =P seems like God so far isn't letting me get enrolled into that course >.< yeah~ that way i'll do better on my subjects i guess~ oh well. sigh woke up w/ mom yelling about how i need to look over my stuff b4 school starts.. which is kinda true coz i completely forgot about orgo already -_-" oi. getting ready to die this term~ sigh~

oh wellez~ i learned how to knit!! woohoo. in 5 mins aren't i so cool~ well i need someone to help me end it tho... i haven't learned dat yet =P anyhoo~~ off to do more work ....

yes! tm is NEW YR'S EVE!!!! =)

boxing day sales are scams

2004-12-27T01:59:00.000-05:00

yup. i officially concluded, after a crazy sunday afternoon shopping at an insane mall such as vaughan mills... boxing day sales are really scams~

y u ask? because the stuff isn't really that cheap.. and when ur there, as iris says, "don't u just hate the feeling you spent all this time and end up getting nothing then u have to look for sumthing to buy?" well of coz dats not quite the case but the feeling is the same~ they scam u into buying stuff~ well i guess the stuff i bought is pretty cheap actually~ most of them are 50% off~ =P so i guess it's a good deal. but STILL. other stuff~ that iw as so tempted to buy.. i refused to walk in... ahhh but then ah mui just said guess had cheap pants! =P hmmm will check store on tues...

anyway~ i can't believe shopping tires me out these days! b4 i used to be able to do it for like.. forever! =P haha oh well. this happens are u AGE.. -_-"

sigh man. can't believe school is starting next week.. don't want this week to end... ever...

bb thx so much! muah

2004-12-20T22:05:00.000-05:00

yay! christmas is almost here!!! heheee and i'm so happy!! =) bb thx so much for ur presents! aiyoo u spoil me too muchie la >.< keke~ oo look at wat bb gave me:

hehe isn't it so pretty!! I REALLY LIKE IT!!!!!!! *squeals w/ joy* oooo and he got me a big nemo too!!! =) YAY YAY YAY! =)

christmas concert is almost here lu!! woohoo~~ the only bad thing is dat SO COLD THESE DAYS! >.< i was at T&T today and froze my BUTT off coz the refrigerator sections are making the air EVEN COLDER -_-" but yupyup~~ heee yay more fun to come...!

snow is falling outside.. so pretty....

All I want for Christmas...

2004-12-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby

Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh, I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you...

Recovering from DINNER...

2004-12-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

SIGH. i need a new FILM CAMERA. yes w. ZOOM! my stupid auto-zoom film camera doesn't FOCUS properly and all the pics came out SCREWED... screwed! -_-"

yes~ i'm still RECOVERING from a dinner back on friday~, becoz altho the food was really good and everything.. realy.. to get like a fish w/ pasta in FISHERMAN'S WHARF costed me like 27 bucks... u kno i can be more full if i ate at a jap buffet.. haha~ well we learned our lesson of the yr.. next yr go to a christmas dinner that's more economical.. haha frankly. those places aren't for students lor =P hehe~ oh well at least could spend time w/ bb~ it was good gei~ =) and now i'm gonna die for exams -_-" haha~

today was alrite~ i was RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE everytime i had a break had to drive bro or go to music store oi~ SO TIRED. and now my stomach feels bloated.. w/ air again. i think it's the way i sit.. anyway~

yesh, 3 down 2 to go... 5 more days till freedom~ oi oi oi~ but yeahhh... just 2 more. which HAPPENS TO BE HARD. oi oh well~ =P nutrition and biochem HERE WE GO~

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATHAN!!

only 3 days...

2004-12-06T19:30:00.000-05:00

countdown till the day....~ 3 DAYS ...

OMGOMGOMG

queenie, must calm down...........

today was quite productive~ must've been the 8 hours~ haha but 'slomo' and gord was at my house today~ haha and we just like studied... then gord was like I WANT TIMMY'S FRENCH VANILLA but so much snow haha we just made starbucks coffee =) and then later on was hungry. wanna go eat pho BUT THE PLACE AT WONG GUM closed down. grr. and then became some FOOT SPA thing so obviously not gonna EAT THERE. and then went to gum ma chaan tang~ at times and then ate cow tongue spaghetti in tomato sauce =) yum. altho the meal was quite big =P

okok so far have covered in detail the concepts of section 3 and 1 for chem. now gonna hit section 2 then go thru all the questions in txtbk and exams~. sigh. still need to do stats too! OI OI OI~ and then... so be it. dats thurs. and then fri bio... can't wait till dec 10th at 5 pm. 60% done by then......

first draft of christmas list~

2004-12-03T01:35:00.000-05:00

yes those of you who wanna get me christmas presents... =)

1. guess purse
2. nice sweater (can be stripe or plain)
3. Chris Tomlin's new CD!
4. W0W HITS 2005~
5. small compact bible i can carry to school
6. nice scarf (like the ones from GAP or JACOB
7. guess watch (haha this is gonna be a bit hard)
8. starbucks coffee... mmm!
9. the original *1st book* of bridget jones diary =)

okok dats good enough for now~ if i have more i shall make amendments =)

p.s.. 2 weeks from today... FREEDOM!

miscellaneously... in awe of the One~

2004-11-26T23:34:00.000-05:00

my new favourite restaurant: MARCHE down at BCE place SO NICE! OOOO my~ =P hehe yeah i had nice pasta today and bb had the rosti~ SOO GOOD. but so UNHEALTHY... ~

i went to worship cell group today and we talked about the use of the word 'AWESOME'. i didn't realize until then that ppl use this term so wrong these days! everything is awesome, from mcdonald hamburger to the lastest video game, movie, or tv series... not knowing what the word AWEsome really means.

the word itself, obviously comes from the word AWE. Job 25:2 says, ".. dominion and awe belong to God." clearly we should know that awe is reserved for God alone. Yes i mean we are always impressed by things around us; but those things can never be awe.. u can't be in awe of that thing technically. An awesome view of God will bring us flat on our faces, and obviously we don't do that to things around us, do we?

Angels, we all know that people are so fearful of them (in the respectful way of coz) but really, God is so much more higher than even angels. they only represent, give us a glimpse of just how AWESOME god is. isn't that so amazing?

i guess it really struck me if you study the martyrs and followers of God; they were just so in AWE that they'll do anything for God, even risking their lives. and yes, simon peter was crucified upside down in case you didn't kno~ >.< i'm so impressed by these people, to be so powerfully FAITHFUL to God. i mean, you don't see that much around society these days...

as the F4J group (frosh 4 jesus small group - hehe go froshies!)'s song wrote: "show the word... that faith truly is."

i guess.. from now on, i'll truly reflect the meaning of awesome before i say it outloud~ coz really... only God truly deserves that respect~

tuesdays are always interesting...~

2004-11-16T23:51:00.000-05:00

THANKS GOD!! THANKS SO MUCH... i was so scared i'd be failing my chem test.... omg omgomg! thank you so much! i passed... and above average!! 65!!!woo hoo~~ =)

haha omg this morn was such a rush. i think it must be my half drunkeness from yesterday *yes it was mary's bday and we went to a bar.. and the rest is history* -_- anyway~ yeah so i think i was still a bit dizzy and stuff... and then i heard the doorbell ring i was like crap crap crap charlee's here already and i was rushing my butt off~ haha and then i couldn't FIND my metropass. took a while. and yeah. OI. next time no more in b/t classes drinking~ -_-

yeah. lunch i had CHICKEN TERIYAKI SUB MMMM =)

alright haha in the afternoon i went w/ ramzi to eaton's to chill~ we went into all these random stores~ haha ooOOOO I FINALLY WENT TO SAHORA!!!! yupyupyupz. omgomg they're so nice. the gurl there taught me how to put on eye makeup properly for my eye shape... it's so cool~ i looked good. but then charlee prefers ALL NATURALL.. =P so dat wasn't too helpful...

ok then stats lecture. omg i was frigging PISSED the entire 3 hours. oi! i'm so confused. the stupid prof kept confusing us and i was like HUH?! HUH?!... -_-~ kept contradicting himself! aiyaness..~ -_-

oo i have lunch dates on thurs and fri.. hehehe so popular... *rite... haha*
yeah and then on the way home iw as doing nutrition notes rite and i had my clipboard on my lap and i just kept dong notes then i noticed i kept hitting sumthing... i realize the corner of my clipboard from time to time poked into this guy's butt who was sitting sideways from me on the subway.. OMG I FELT SO EMBARRASSED -_-*

and when i get out of donmills.. there's this guy who was looking at me leeringly... gave me the chills~ yeah. dats y I DON'T LIKE TAKING SUBWAY HOME AT NITE~... all these RANDOM ppl...

alright i'm tired. sleep~ lu

so tired... driving myself to the ground once again~

2004-11-13T22:57:00.000-05:00

today is one of the most unhappiest days of my life... sigh i dunno... honestly, w/ so many things happening... i'm so tired... so tired of everything. I can feel the energy inside slowly seeping away from me. i dunno how much i can last any longer... i guess i'm just so stressed... w/ all these things piling up... and things to deal w/... and emergency situations coming up ie have to go 'YUM' tomorrow night. when i reallie dun wnana go. coz ihave a motherload of mountain work and catching up to do... everything is just so overwhelming... great. second time crying again... i guess maybe if i reallie wanna vent it out... should just cry it all off~ cry myself to sleep... dats usually the best way to fall asleep~~~ coz u wake up w/ ur face all screwed up and salty...~i guess i'm just scared... sumtimes i reallie think... yes maybe things are good b/t us rite now.. but what if the same thing happens except it's towards me this time~...

sigh... bb i reallie hope you're ok... when i got ur msg after i got home i got so worried... sigh bb i can reallie understand y you had to go thru all this.. but please.. promise me.. don't do sumthing like this ever again ok? i reallie dunno how many more i can handle~ u have to understand... u can't just do sumthing like that... i kno u've told me a million times not to worry.. but that's my nature... i'm ur gf i'm supposed to be worried about u, i care about u a lot sor yee sin gum gun yeung lei~ and when i came outside and i was freezing to the point where i was shaking.. i got even more worried b/c i knew u walked so for so long... please don't ever do this again bb~ it can kill me~ *sniff*

it all comes to full circle

2004-11-12T22:29:00.000-05:00

for the longest time i was debating whether to go to UTCCF tonite. and at first i really didn't want to Go. but then sumthing just kept NAGGING AND NAGGING at me so i did go... i'm reallie glad i did, becoz the fellowship and the stuff we talked about was so directed to me. I can just see God looking down on me saying: Queenie, listen to this. And i did. Yeah, i realize these past few months i was just so drawn on the details i totally forgot about why i am really doing the things i'm doing~ Sam was right... we need to put aside our things and remmeber that we are working for God. I guess i shouldn't always be so negative and stress on the impossible, rather, look from a different angle, a different perspective, and things will be a lot better, as long as we truly put it in His hands.

Well today's CCF talked about prayer. Why we pray. What is prayer.. i've learned a lot from the discussion. I guess also reading carny's comment about how back then the Israelites had to do so much just to talk to God (refer to exodus chapter 19) and i just realize today we always take it for granted. it's like we have this amazing opportunity to speak to God, our heavenly father! I mean, we don't have to DO anything~ all we gotta do is just... TALK~ like a free access kinda thing... almost like this child song "prayer is like a telephone, you just pick it up and tell everything". True in the sense that we do tell God everything, but i guess trying to keep it two ways sumtimes is the harder part. YOu tell him your stuff but then also keeping in mind that He knows everything about you, and just trying to be open, and more sensitive and eventually u'll find God talking to you. I guess i was just so lost the past month or so that even when God was trying to speak to me, i didn't listen. But yeah, now that i think about it, and just reflecting back on my life, i guess i just feel so lucky~ Lucky that i don't have too much to worry about in my life besides school and relationships~ and just that we're so lucky here that religion has freedom here in Canada compared to other countries. A lot of times we really do take things for granted and never took the time to just sit down, amongst the peace and quiet and just reflect... Honestly right now all i can do is give praise to God, becoz he is just so awesome, so patient, so magnificent~

yeah... It just felt so good to be close to God again... i realize there are some things i need to fix/change but that i no longer need to worry anymore.. becoz earth isn't the place where we're meant to be.. we're meant to be w/ our heavenly father... who gave us such a wonderful gift... a second chance! So we can be with Him...

Boy, i really miss u God. I miss serving for you God. I had no idea i was drifting away without knowing. Thanks to all the ppl i met today who have helped to encourage me to really trust in you God, coz i KNO you're speaking to me through them~ Am i ever grateful... it really comes back to full circle~

And I Surrender...

2004-11-11T23:34:00.000-05:00

I've hit rock bottom.
Once you feel all broken down, you dont' have the strength left...
you realize...
god was watching u the whole time... watching you drive yourself to the ground...
how would u feel?
i was so afraid to trust in him...
I had fears.. i had doubts...
but i kno i'm too tired to rely on myself anymore...
God i'm sorry...
you must be disappointed in me.. how i can have so little faith in you...
Too proud, too proud about myself...
God i'm reallie trying.. but you would have to help me...
Lord here in the darkest of the night
I need a touch from you in my life
Please take this brokeness and pride,
I surrender
Lord I give you my hopes and dreams
And I lay them at your feet
Fill this emptiness
And make my life complete

I surrender all to you...

do bio labs ever get BETTER...

2004-11-10T22:32:00.000-05:00

this week was pretty crappy. first of all.~ chem midterm *chops off neck*... then stupid stuff happened tues. and then today.~ bio lab. OMG. the torture~!!! and i thought 'omgness. what did i do wrong to deserve all this' ... i was reallie nervous about my bio review getting it back and stuff. and i was like omgomg i heard so many bad stories about ppl geting crap marks so i was hoping i pass... but then.. thank GOD. reallie~ i had to trust in him.. it hink this week i just got to a point where i kno i can't rely on myself anymore. so i just kinda gave it up to him and stoped worrying.. i got great marks! i was so thankful... reallie. i needed the marks coz my labs are so bad...~ but yeah bio lab today i had to present the assignment i was doing.. omgness. i already was kinda confused coz last nite i still ddin't kno what i was doing but today my group explained it and TA didn't understood. and asked me to reexplain and asked all these quesitons. I WAS LIKE. holy crap what's she asking about and all these IN VIVO AND IN VITRO factors. omg~ and then my group just looked at ME! like.. expecting ME to solve the problem?! omg what do u think i am~ but i somehow said what was in my head and she said it was good. THANK GOD~.. reallie i didin't kno how i did it.. i just said all these things and i was almost watching myself say it.. like it's not me gum... STRANGE~~

talk about.. RANDOM TTC MOMENTS

2004-11-08T23:25:00.000-05:00

yup.. here i am again.. after disappearing for so long.. this means that a) my midterms are over and b) my exams are coming soon... so much for relaxation -_-"

so today.. i was going home at 10 at nite.. a little tired. and then i was adjusting my bag when the lady sitting next to me *her name is marla* looks at me and so i smiled and nodded. u kno. the usual courtesy. all of a sudden she said "yeah, i'm tired." i was like "me too"... and the conversation continued on. apparently she works at a telemarketing place.. so she had a 13 hour shift of talking on the phone selling. I was interested in talking to her coz i usually get annoyed talking to these ppl and i wondered what the other side of the story was. She tells me that doing a job like this u have to be pretty ignorant to the ppl's attitudes. she said 'i mean if u dun wanna buy dats ok. just say so. but i'll keep talking. becoz it's my job to convince you coz i'm a salesperson" but yeah it's their job to do it. it's not like they're trying to be annoying. just trying to earn some money here~ her boss once said 'i pay u guys to be meanies' haha i thought dat was quite funny. so yeah we talked and stuff and i was telling her about what i study and stuff... she's been doing telemarketing for 20 yrs.. crazie~ selling diff stuff.. rite now being books. which is kinda cool~ i remember one time yrs ago we let in this woman and we bought a set of encyclopedias. they were quite cute~ =)

anyway.. i almost forgot to get off at my stop and ran out just as the train was going 'dun dun dun' =P haha~

humble moments

2004-10-31T19:17:00.000-05:00

listening to: Glenn Miller - Swing Medley

i don't know who to thank for getting me started in listening to classical jazz music. haha i don't kno. either second cup or starbucks i owe that to~.. but yeah the past week is just finding out about our marks... i did fairly alrite in the two subjects... and honestly. it's one of these moments that i love feeling, becoz i know that these marks not only came from me. but also the big guy upstairs. i just did what i could do =P altho yes i do kno there 's always room for improvement -_-" haha~ but yeah it'll come in time! ^^ but yeah. as i said. i love these moments. truly humble... makes me realize i need God ever more.. which is a great booster to my spriritual life these days... ^^

p.s. thx bb for supporting me all the time.. being my stuffed animal so i can vent all i want and get frustrated to ease off the stress~ =)

A Positive Thought

2004-10-23T20:12:00.000-04:00

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem;
not to mention that Friday at Calvary.
Face it, He's crazy about you.

that was tooo longg....

2004-10-21T23:18:00.000-04:00

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
TO
MILTON
AND
LILY!!!

ANYWOOZ... yeahh.. omgness lor~ today was my stats midterm. i studied quite a bit la. not as hardcore coz i just need to understand the stuff.. but then yeah~ 12 pages of midterm.. 1h 45 mins and it's not even a multiple choice test. literally my brain was on fire coz i was panicking my BUTT off~ i almost fell when i first got up from the table after i was done. it was so oozy...

dad went back to hk lu~~~ im gonna get a lot of fobby clothes soon!! OUTSMART ALVIN.. muwhahaa =) j/k j/k~ yupyup~ my baby drove us to airport~~ hehe so sweet. my mom didn't want him to wait for so long. otherwise we mite've sat down for a bit~ and pui my dad~ haha oh well =) thx baby for driving us *muah*~

the day could've been MUCH SHORTER!...

2004-10-20T20:20:00.000-04:00

great. just great. i have been down at UT since 10 oclock this morning, woke up at 7:30. come HOME at 7. and the amt of class i had today?... 45 mins. LITERALLY. i had nutirition which ended early. so i had a stupid 4 hour gap in which i proceeded to study my little stats midterm which is tm. and so study study la... and in the process SPENT MONEY ON FOOD. and then by the time i got to chem, ready for lecture... SOMEONE STOLE THE OVERHEAD PROJECTOR FROM OUR LECTURE HALL. result? CLASS CANCELLED. arg! so stupid! wasted all this time when i could've studied at home instead... OINESS -_-

oh well~~ sigh i hate it being home sumtimes.. i can't study??.. i dunno. i feel like i need to be in a LIBRARy to be motivated...~ just one more midterm.. and then paper to write.. and hmwk to catch up on.. id idn't even kno we're in ch.13 in chem now?! crap..

now you see the real side of UT.. pure EVILNESS

2004-10-18T23:35:00.000-04:00

scheming..
plotting...
against...

INNOCENT STUDENTS LIKE US!

YUP. i said it. THEY. are. EVIL. they, aka University of Toronto, aka the profs, aka the TA's in CERTAIN courses. grr~ today i had my biochem midterm... omgness that was the most brutal 3 hour examination i've ever been in. FIRST OF ALL. we had like 3 booklets, scantron sheet and our own stuff. ok and the desk space we got. WAS LIKE 3/4 OF A NORAML SHEET OF PAPER. i mean. GET DESKS! it's not like thye're POOR either~ stupid UT. and then my chem paper. oi~ not that i'm not content w/ my mark. but when ur class has an avg of 88.7 and u only got 75. u would want to kno y~ so i went to look. STUPID. apparently the new rule in chem is. MISTAKES DON'T CARRY THRU. MATH mistakes. PHYS CHEM = MATH! so gay~ all of a sudden lost extra like 12% becoz i had to REPEAT that calculation 3 times to get 3 value and EACH time i get marks off.. sigh~ -_-

ok maybe my brain is HURTING TOO MUCH. or maybe just quickly finish this darn stats. sigh~ some kind of life THIS is~~... everything is biased~

95% of population needs a retest on their driving abilities

2004-10-14T01:19:00.000-04:00

yuppers. my phrase at the top says it all. this morning i was about to leave the house i forgot two things went to get it. then after i drove to john i realized i forgot my phone so i had to go back. on the way home, there is this GUY. in a car in front of me. it wasn't going fast; and i'ts quite frustrating. but what was even more frustrating is that HE WASN'T EVEN CONCENTRATED ON DRIVING. he was too bz combing his hair like 50 gazillion times while looking at the rear mirror, and then reading these pamphlets for ages. and it WAS NOT A MAP. omgness. this stupid man! save those things and do it another time! geez~

i mean reallie. society is just SO RUDE these days. another day i went on ttc and this gurl ELBOWED her way EVEN THO SHE SAW ME ONLY HAD LIKE 0.5 CM of space to go thru~ and she wasn't even smaller than me in the first place. stupid people!

but yeah. been to eaton's twice this week already la!~~ i want that HAT.. the winter hat.. w/ strips. preferably mix of pink w/ a lonnnng hat so it folds back when i wear it. DANGIT. i need that hat~ and i'm a bloomwood head again~ -_-" but yeah i went to 'sporting goods' store w/ mary. MY GOODNESS. this plain yellow tshirt... 70 quid. I MEAN. 70 QUID?! this is ridiculous. at least their converse is 59.99 so it's alrite~~ but still~ the hat i talked about just now, it's 68 but the colour i don't like. but even if i like won't buy it la! GUM EXPENSIVE! -_-

anyway. i'm so getting my brain trampled w/ the two upcoming midterms. great... trying to stay awake!.... zzzzz~

stupid stupid stupid! ttc and their services...

2004-10-07T23:16:00.000-04:00

ai, by now you wonder what i'm stupid-ing about. let me tell you, this WHOLE DAY WAS STUPID! ai first of all. i woke up like usual. but for some reason took much longer to get ready today and was like almost late! -_-" and then after class went w/ mary to eaton's so i could exchange my sweatshirt. gosh i dunno y H&M no matter what TIME of day dou SO MANY PPL. what is this! anyway. then i go to jimmy the greek. arg should've gotten the darn sushi instead. grr line up so long and it was pricey~ grr. and then had bio. then after went ot career centre grab sum info. YEAH! i'm thinking of uni of alberta and calgary for post grad maybe~~

i come uptown, it was so WARM and i was sweating in my thin sweater~ -_-" then after i went home. napped like 20 mins b4 the stupid alarm woke me up.taught for an hour. went home. kinda did work for an hour. then watched tv. then ate dinner. watched more tv. and then still DOING DUM NUTRITION SHEET RITE NOW. so UNPRODUCTIVE!!!!!

this isn't the highlight of the day. it was when my bro came home and told me about ttc story...

apparenty my bro took YRT to shoppes on steeles after school and take steeles bus to warden to go to work rite. and then he said every time he does dat. but today the bus driver check his id and he showed him card. then driver's like 'oh this is the wrong card. you need a ttc card' my bro was like oh id idn't kno that. so the guy was like then you have to pay adult price. but then my bro put in 1.50 already. so he can't take it back out since he had a toonie. so then he's like "oh i don't have change. next time i'll put adult price" the stupid bus driver said NO. and then my brother was like "i don't want to put a fucking toonie instead of 50 cents" but then he ended having to do dat coz the guy was such an ass. so instead of paying 1.50 *student rate* even if he paid adult it's only 2.25.... he paid 3.50 for the bus. STUPID FUCKING TTC! they should standardize it. if it's student, it's student. if it's adult it's adult! why being such an ass only letting toronto schools use it. anyway. so then yeah coz my bro went to timmies to eat and was holding drink. the guy was so cocky. he's like 'oh then you shouldn't have bought the drink' my brother inched him back.. "if i dind't buy the drink. you'd be getting a 10 dollar bill".

if i was him, i told matt i woulnd't pay for the darn 50 cents. the driver was so rude! he's like 'are u new?' so what if i'm new? what can he do? if dat happened to me, i'd say "your attitude is very rude. you're picking on the fact that i'm new and i dont' kno anything. i want to complain you and i'll see if this jackass bus driver would say anything more~ i would get his name down and report him! dats like harrassing the person coz the person may not know anything about TTC! so fucking rude...~

anyway. enough of that language.. back to nutrition...

such a bloomwooded-nut

2004-10-06T19:56:00.000-04:00

looking at the title.. one would already kno what happened... not dat i'm in the bloomwood situation where i can't pay it back?! lolz haha~ but yeah! it's like once u start can't stop. but then i do need thinner clothes lor. to wear indoors. it's either too hot or too cold i'm gonna get sick like this -_-" anywayyyyy yeahh initially i wanted to go to yves rocher to buy shower gel. but then went to H&M first. then after went there.. and found out i didn't bring the darn members card -_- gr so have to go another day. and then went to jacob.. and gap. needless to say... a little bit from each shop adds up -_-... haha oh well. i'll deprive myself from good coffee drinks to make up for it. besides the govt paycheck for gst covers pretty much all of it~ so it's not dat bad =)

anyway. i have SO MUCH to do. but SO GLAD TO HEAR FROM U CHARIS!!! can't wait to see u this weekend!! =)

any typical tuesday~~

2004-10-05T23:54:00.000-04:00

so, today during lunch, me and mary went to timmy's coz she wanted cheap bagel to eat~ and we went, and there was this girl who was taking my order. i found her a bit odd but thought it mite be just me so i didn't say anything. then the person b4 me said he's still missing his juice or sumthing. anyway~ not relevant... not yet. so i ordered the new timmy's sandwich combo - chicken w/ roasted red peppers. i told her. and then did my orders and everything and found it odd y i didn't have to pay so much. oh well. then i went over to wait for sandwich. but all i heard was chicken salad. and so i told the lady i ordered the new sandwich but apparently the order was for chicken salad. so i said could i reorder it again and just then the manager came out and the lady told her and she wasn't too happy that someone messed up the order but they made me a new sandwich. best of all, i only had to pay for a chicken salad combo =P feel kinda bad for the girl~ =P well i'm guessing she's new~~

while we were eating, we saw sum interesting things: we saw this little black dog, like little as in a puppy, w/ very short legs. but the owner so didn't MATCH this dog! the owner was tall and leggy~ and so when he walks. the dog was literally half running/half walking haha i felt so bad for the dog coz it looked like it ran and then walk but then ran again coz coudln't catch up. all i saw were little legs everywhere~ if seen in a blur, one must've thought it had like 6 legs~ -_-

next we saw these little kids... they're so small.. probably halfway up my thigh kinda tall~ SO SHORT. and the funniest thing was they're all in 'baby-sitter camp' coz these two ladies were taking care of them and they're so cute! coz all of them held onto this little rope w/ knots on them. and each one was grabbing one knot and right/left side of the rope line up~ aww! it was so cute! but yet quite funny =P

well.. definitely one typical tuesday for me... until tonite. grrr~ yeah all these stupid things nagging at me and i just feel like i need room to breathe...

let the rain fall.. i'm coming clean....

ways to kill monty... so we can go to our test

2004-10-04T16:13:00.000-04:00

haha me, monty and gordon are sooo bored rite now; me and gord felt asleep in Gerstein library while studying for chem midterm. coz THERE'S NO MORE TO STUDY. then we went over to monty's place coz he's too overly stressed. it's like this. me and gordon say the answer and then 5 mins later u hear monty going "OH VICTORY! I GOT THE ANSWER" haha and we're like "erm. WE SAID THIS 5 MINS AGO" ahha~

anyway, 5 ways to 'kill' monty so we can get out of his room and go to exam:

1. burn monty w/ 6 bottles of sample spray deodorants using his lighter. By that time the door will still be standing *it's fire-resistant* and we'll move him out of our way.
2. smother monty w/ his own blanket, THEN burn him.
3. throw the dumbell out of the window and escape.
4. Drug monty w/ those sleepy pills for cold and then burn him.
5. Use MSN and cry out for help.
6. flood the room, and the pressure will blow it out.

woohoo! we have successfully mastered the plan to get out! hahahahahhaha~

gord wants to be in 'crimson' room... aka... he wants me to be the entertainer, and then he said i'm gonna die and be his food source -_-" right... *mysteriously die from catching on fire* and he'll try to pound the door and use salt to preserve me?... eek >.<

omgness, we're so random. 30 mins till test.. and MONTY IS STILL TRYING TO STUDY?? -_- oi~

new word.. PHO-bia

2004-10-03T21:52:00.000-04:00

here i am.. so tired.. *i wonder y!!* haha but yeah midterm tm lu~~~ dim suen >.< hehe but yeah church was pretty random today... iris and her 'MASCOT' stupid paper cup -_- and then heiks and her PHO-bia~ coz she's resistant on eating pho -_- haha but yeah. today has been pretty good so farrrr =) got quite a bit of studying going on... and then have MORE to do now tho i'm SOOOOO TIRED. and then i have to go to gym tm.. and then write chem midterm at 5pm...and yeah~ =P hopefully i kno what i'm doing! >.< hehe~ anyhoooz... not much today. church felt kinda weird. but other than dat... NOT BAD! =P

Chain story

2004-10-02T19:28:00.000-04:00

i thought this chain letter story was quite cute ^^

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said... no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever... he said, no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he said no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face, the boy grabbed her arm and said...

You're not pretty... you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever... I NEED to be with you forever!
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away... I'll die...

awww isn't dat story so cute? yup anyway enough time in the clouds. time to get back down to earth and start working~

Conclusion: an overwhelming day it is

2004-09-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

am so screwed...

i went to biochem this morning... YES! deber's LAST LECTURE. omgness. finally. not that his lecture are bad.. well just TOO MUCH INFO if u kno what i mean. omg i'm so screwed for biochem~ not even funny. i mean, midterm 1st two hours, then third hour our assignment: make a 44 amino acid globular protein, based on the structure/side chain interactions THEY want~ omgness u got to be kidding me. i'm so so screwed. *sob* this is like.. 50% of our marks!so NOT funny~

then i had a NSSA lunch~~ yeah i'm part of the nutritional science student association haha.. ate free food. omgness ate too much tim lor! my stomach >.< and then worked a bit and then had bio. wasn't tooo too bad this bio thing. oi~ but yah then loitered around and then end up going to second cup for my caffeine~~ mmm and then had chem. haha chem was extremely funny. today the teacher went thru problems. and then he asked 'who thinks they'll get C and better raise their hand'. most ppl did. then he's like 'for those of you who DIDN'T raise your hand, please exit the lecture hall right now and meet w/ me outside.' haa everyone thought he was kidding. HE WASN'T. and then all of sudden clusters of ppl started going outside. I MEAN HALF THE CLASS WENT OUTside haha~ obviously some were going just for the joke haha but then they got shooed back in. but yeah. haha ppl were like maybe he'll say 'please switch ur majors' haha turns out they had to go to extra help~ haha still. it was so hilarious~

alritey. finish nutrition. and then do chem. yup~ term test on monday...

i'm the stairmaster now!

2004-09-29T22:39:00.000-04:00

ever wondered why walking on stairs is so painful??...

okay okay, fine. i suppose not actually WALKING ON STAIRS, but on the stair machine. it's actually not too bad. the first 8 mins kills. but after dat it's like automatic~~ and it makes u sweat quite a bit. yup today i went on it for 35 mins~ oi haha~ but it felt good =) i need to get in shape, otherwise when i do my nutrition assignment i will have nothing to write for my activity logs. that means i'll have all these stupid extra calories, and make me look so unhealthy when ihad in my assignment =P haha~

oh my goodness.. my test is on monday. first MIDTERM. reallie. this is so ridiculous, three questions.. and no one understand the dum chapter. scholes better make it easy, or he better bell.. or else.. *pounds fist together*

haha always always violent. what can i say but thank my high school friends =) haha~ oi my bio TA. she's so nice, but reallie SHE MARKS HARD. oi.. my assignment.. *slash throat signal* yup... whole yr... ai~

okok lets do more on polysaccharides... my nutrition prof today ate banana today and drank diet coke in front of the class while lecturing! haha so funny. he even said 'no food and drinks allowed' and then took one big bite out of the banana ahha~ and today he talked about poop! like he DREW them -_- omgness. and then he was using all these analogies. dat was pretty gross. good thing i ate B4 class~ -_- alrite. time to hit dat little txtbk of mine~

wow. i'm actually exhausted.

2004-09-28T23:02:00.000-04:00

ahh... finally..so this is what twisting your back feels like...
feels like my spine just got all screwed up..
can i seriously go to the gym tomorrow?

oi...my back reallie reallie hurts. i dunno.. i'm aiming at 25 mins on dat stupid little stair machine that almost trampled me last time i went on for 12~ grr! but yeah. my plan for 1:30am sleeping didn't EXACTLY work. becoz of stupid EPSON printer. i had to print my bio lecture notes and believe me, printing only took 2/5 of the time. the rest was devoted to CLEANING and FIXING the darn printer. grrr *shakes fist* ging lau~ *puff of smoke coming out of my head* hahaahhaa alrite at least i got them notes!! =) wooohoo~ for a technology-illiterate person... i must say i'm doing quite well~~ i swear.. i have a LONG history w/ technology. every single piece of technology that's gone thru me probably has been sumhow magically got screwed up. Anyway, so i went to bch today. omg. i swear. DEBER needs to talk nicer! oi. it's so hard to stay awake in a hypnotic voice ga~ it's so PAINFUL if u kno what i mean.

so then i went to get my metropass today. the lineup... OMGNESS. so long! i mean it's only the 28th. no need to have like... a line up all the way from the SAC office out the door across king's college road, all the way along UC. it's actualy pretty funny haa~ so then me and mary decide to explore our LUNCHIE tuesday. today's list is DIABLO'S coz we heard it was good. we found it alright... i didn't kno dat place was a CAF dats how bad it was. haha so then we went to get FREE food instead coz today was UT BBQ day~ wooo! haha i got a burger and then 3 little pieces of veggie pizza. u kno the ironic part was - i prefered the pizza -_-".. the burger was a little TOO much meat~ =P anyhooz~ so then me, jerome and mary were sitting there under the tree eating. it was quite nice *minus the bees. they are SO annoying* and i was gonna settle w/ what i had until jerome offered to get me more pizza. mary left me alone to suffer the temptation of more pizza and i gave in >.< then after bio i was jus so tired i fell asleep while waiting for stats lecture. then i had tutorial. i actually LIKE my tutorial. which is nice~ =)

then i ran out of class at 8:10 i thought my prof was gonna break! grr but yeah got to church and then mad play my drums.. aww i miss my drummiessssss~ ehe but yeah it was not bad of a practice so =) and now i'm dead tired. bio or nutrition... nutrition wins... FOR NOW coz i have to study bio later =P

longing for simplicity

2004-09-28T00:41:00.000-04:00

longing for simpleness...
where one does not need to do anything...
just peace within...

listening to: avril lavigne - complicated

why must life be so complex sumtimes? a lot of things i just don't want to think, just dont' want to care, but i can't just let them go becoz dats not solving it either. dunno... so lost, so confused. maybe i'm just a little too tired. maybe i need i rest. maybe i should give myself a break. maybe i should just stop doing whatever i'm doing right now.. which would be stats~ great coz i'm done the problem set. sigh. i dunno. i just think of all the things i need to do and i can feel the blood pressure going up already. just all the BCH and BIO lectures i need to listen to... i mean... DEBER isn't the most INTERESTING guy to listen to about PROTEINS dammit. bio prof is alrite .. but she talks too much. way too STUPIDLY MUCH. to the point where i'm like its ONE FRIGGING SLIDE u don't need an essay about it. grr~ and i hate how she makes us write those concepts. why cant' just include them so us poor souls have time to digest wat she said and add onto the slides? arg. and you think ppl from harvard/princeton would be so smart. smart alright.. w/ no common sense~

today is just one of my bitter days... everything dat can go wrong went wrong. what can i do~ just hope that another day brings another new start which would be niceee~~ okie off to bed... aiming for 1:30 tonite~

Pieces of me

2004-09-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

On a Monday I am waiting,
Tuesday I am fading
and by Wednesday I can't sleep
Then the phone rings I hear you
and the darkness is a clear view
'Cause you've come to rescue me
Fall with you I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath
I hope it last

Oh it seems like i can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Oh it's as if you know me better than i ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces of me
All the pieces of me

I am moody, messy, I get restless
And it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry you listen
Make me happy it's your mission
And you won't stop till I'm there
Fall sometimes I fall so fast
When i hit that bottom crash you're all I have
How do you know everything I"m about to say
Am I that obvious and if it's written on my face
I hope it never goes away

On a Monday I am waiting
And by Tuesday I am fading
Into your arms so i can dream...

the real use of the AC

2004-09-24T22:51:00.000-04:00

in case of mixup.. AC is NOT air-conditioning, but the ATHLETIC CENTRE down at UT. so anyway, i went swimming after biochem this morning. we went in not knowing the schedule *i kno we're so smart* and then we found out the ladies' swim time goes till 11:45 only so we end up swimming like 20 mins ~ and dind't feel like waiting another 20 mins and find our way to the 50m pool, becoz as u see i was like half blind and the change rooms aren't connected to the pool so we had walk in bare feet. dat was pretty nasty~ but yeah >.< swimming was great! at first a bit tired but by the 12th lap things were a little easier~~ but yeah i need NEW GOGGLES. grr~ for my weekly swimming. darn~ all these things to buy, so little cash. DARN~ okok i'm getting paycheck in 4 days... >.< so hope dat'll help!~ anybooz~~ then did MAD stats homework for once~ oi~ this stupid little son of a gun txtbk was pissing me off so much~ like reallie. i have to stupid lining up of data for like 64 items?! every single question was like dat. omg drove me insane~ anyway now i'm onto bio... so much work to do.. i just wanna sleep it all away...~

first shopping trip after school starts...

2004-09-22T21:19:00.000-04:00

today i had a gazillion breaks~~~ so then i spent my day ... VERY... unproductively...~~ =P 最衰都係你啦~ 搞到我勁掛住你...~ aiyerr~~ so then anyway la, this morning i woke up omg i felt SO SO SO crappy lor~ it was like... eyes won't open, body was still half in resting state when i went to the washroom... GRRNESS~ and i had such a stupid time battling w/ putting contacts in my eye coz it REFUSE to open wide enough~ -_- oh well i still got it in! haha so ging~~

i went down to the AC today to do workout w/ mary, and we did the stairs machine *omg dat was brutal* and the rowing machine~~ my my i hope i get in more shape coz i like died so quickly we only did like 30 mins of exercise~ -_-"

then we joined up w/ robin *mary's friend who came from scotland* and we ate crepes for lunch.. haha reminds me of rachael's story about ryan. how he went and apparnetly ate 'CRAPS' hehe dat was extremely funny~~ omg haha~ man if he went around telling ppl dat b4 rachael corrected it.. hahaha~ omgness~ anyway, yeah so then i went to class then wanted to sleep but ended up walking around stores on bloor. OMG i need to REDISCOVER that area. SO MANY SHOPES! crazy but most of the brands... aii can't afford la gum expensive. and not just like ELEGANT expensive.. the RIDICULOUS expensive lor -_- like one tshirt w/ nothing on it... 45 bucks?! the material dou not cost dat much la! besides everything is MADE IN CHINA anyhow~ -_-

i went to spring rolls w/ rachael in the afternoon and had this amazing 'sexy roll w/ smoked salmon and shrimp'... mm yum and we also shared a chicken and pork viet style rice~ it was GOOOOOD~~ yummmm~ and we had a martini. now being just barely legal it was my first time. OMG i don't like it. it's too burning~ and my head felt a bit oozy and stuff and yeah i ended up mixing it w/ sprite coz it was just so strong~ it's like taking a shot of pure alcohol gum~ *belch* >_<

thennn... we went shopping~ went to HMV bought cds, GAP bought clothes, jacob was too expensive. dats strange coz usually the other ones are cheaper but oh well~ =P mm yeah enough shopping for now until i HIT THE EATON'S CENTRE... on fri w/ wini~ but yeah.. oi so sad lor i went to BODY shop but they don't have the strawberry flavour cream anymore? i can't find it on the shelf... so so sad =(

other than dat the high light was looking at my ... guess watch~~~... it's still there!!... the black background one.. it cost 110 lor >.< oi it'll never get a 'sale' at a guess store. so stupid~ but yeah. oh wellz tough luck~

i had chem after dat and i wasn't reallie paying too much attention. i tried. but some random stupid equation i've never seen in my entire life and then the prof was like "oh yeah. i've decided to change the curriculum a bit" and -_- OIIII confuses everyone up~ oh well. at least going home was good la~ ^^ hehe ging miss lei ar~~~

OK. I MUST DO . WAIT NO FINISH MY NUTRITION TONITE. GRRRRRRR BACK TO WORK..~

guys in pink...?!

2004-09-22T01:25:00.000-04:00

is it just me, or has the male fashion turned to a twist of feminine colour lately? all of a sudden pink t-shirts are popping on guys all over the campus of Toronto. Some guys can hold those shirts up and in fact they look pretty nice in them~ NO, REALLY. I'M SERIOUS. Others... well.. lets just say the shirt alone is better off alone than on those ppl, no offense. this other time.. 2 days ago i was eating in the new college caf w/ moomoo, and all of a sudden i saw this guy wearing a flimsy pink tshirt walk in w/ the lunch tray. i mean, not just any guy. a skinny chinese guy who's wearing a pink shirt that looks WAY too big on him.. and the fact that he was walking strangely? i was trying so hard not to laugh~ and then these fob guys *i think they're froshies* was staring at me. random.

anyway, the past two days off school have been interesting. My nutrition prof, was cutting up strings into 3 diff lengths signifying the parts of intestine and their length ratios. all of a sudden he went on about his summer job working at a pasta factory and how the boss came around and asked y isn't he doing work and he held the SAME string w/ 3 equal lengths and said he cut it. then he thru it down and said 'i dunno y i was in that stupid job but then when the boss left' i found out the noodles were actually 3 diff lengths. omg this prof DOES MAGIC. so cool~

my other stats prof, was just so funny. he would be teaching and then all of a sudden some random thing appears on the slide and he';ll say 'yeah just look at this formula but don't worry you dun need to kno it coz this is the only one time u'll ever see this equation.' haha~ and then other examples he'll be like 'ahh whatever, skip it. next one...' so jokez~ and then someone ask him like sumthing about an equation w/ L in it he's like oh dat's type it's supposed to be '...' haha~ so gau siu~

anyway, i gotta meet up w/ mary at AC tm and start making myself run/ do exercise~ -_-... grr~

... and the woman says, "SHUT UP QUEENIE!"

2004-09-20T01:02:00.000-04:00

it's not very fun when you have a namesake, especially if it's an animal. and of all animals, IT HAD TO BE A STUPID LITTLE DOG. So apparently iris was working *probably lazying around at chapters* when she came across a phone call for a book order. while the lady was ordering, there was *arf arf* going on in the background. The woman turns around *not literally* but you could hear clearly, she said 'SHUT UP QUEENIE!' therefore iris is dying of laughter -_-

another story. this morning at sunday school i was listening to alvin talking. being the fob i was, i can't understand english apparently, because when alvin was done talking i didn't get what he was saying. i heard something along the lines of horseful?! i was questioning myself what exactlie i heard but i said it outloud instead... -_- great it was HORSEMEN... -_-

and now apparently pastor chris added my NAME into the ANACEF skit, solely for the purpose to make fun of me no doubt... and randomly heidi has the honour to have MY NAME in the skit~ =P haha and i'm playing on the piano for 'as the deer' ~~

other than dat.. the weeek has been pretty good. i think i can make a COMEBACK for my stupid little 7-10 lectures. i'll skip every OTHER one =) sounds good~ and this weekend was quite productive in many ways... =)

sounds familiar? note the randomness?. the real ME is back. BACK. FOR REAL.

ERR... RANDOMNESS~

sir, is it possible to have a (000) plane?

2004-09-16T20:12:00.000-04:00

so then this stupid kid is asking some DUM QUESTION AGAIN. and today prof scholes was late too ar. almost wanted to jump for joy coz no lecture and save miller indices for next week~ but then he came -_- haha oh well at least i kinda understand it now~~ and how it ties to diffraction patterns la~ yupyupz anyhooz today my friends are kinda high high day lor~

oh i went to hart house today. i'm starting to love that place! so nice there~ and then also i am gonna join this group called WATCH. ti's just community volunteer and me and mary will volunteer at a soup kitchen on monday mornings~ very very great~ =) can't wait! and gonna volunteeer at blood donor clinic too~ =) hehe

anyway today i was out in the rain. stupid ramzi went to give 'mini-tour' to his friends, stranding me, matt, jerome and maggie in front of SS waiting for him to bring his friends back?? stupid guy~ oh well haha and then after lecture we were talking about this guy who asked the dum questions about 000 planes. obviously it's not a plane if it's 000. so stupid~ wasting lecture time~ and then he was laughing and all of a sudden his voice pitched an octave higher lor! haha so ging~ and then me and matt had the strangest look on our faces. i think he has a little bit of estrogen high today~ -_- other than dat...=P haha~

anyway back to nutrition lu!!!... i aactually have a lot to do this week tim~

nerd-io week

2004-09-15T23:33:00.000-04:00

so i decide to take a break from txtbk reading and rant on this thing~ haha stupid chm220! stupid stupid chem... it's like the prof teaches in greek but the txtbk is written in latin *as ramzi says haha*~ i had my first lab of second yr today! bio lab.. it was fun but it was a lot of work too! holy crap. the amt of work i spent prepping this stupid lab... lets not even get into dat~ anyway i'm glad it's over~ -_- i have so much txtbk reading to do these days it's quite overwhelming actually~ and i'm taking notes on EVERYTHING so then my pen has run out half its ink already~ -_- omg this is insane~ well at least hehe lee 幾日有人陪我溫書啊... 好幸福^^~

nutrition for the day: did u kno, when u drink 2% milk, it's actually 2% of the weight of the milk is fat? which means... 35% of the energy from milk is FAT~ dats only 2%. for coffee drinkers who use 18% cream.. 98% of energy from that thing is FAT~

i love the stuff i'm studying these days. hey who cares i'm a nerd now haha~ been a nerd ever since end of summer~ hehe~ oh well me dou ng mind lu~ =) oh today in the subway i saw this punk looking woman w/ two kids.. it was kinda a strange site~ but they're so cute and she seems to be a good mom, even though she looks like a punk w/ the front patch of her hair black and the back of it is pink while the husband has long ponytail hair and looks like a rocker~ haha oh well =) strange but quite neat~

ok enough random stuff for today. i saw more yesterday but i can't remember them~ haha will try to remember in the future~ =)

a great way to start school

2004-09-12T15:00:00.000-04:00

sigh... and now school's back.. the excitment's died down, and you realize, altho you're looking so forward to it, eventually it sinks in that you will have A LOT to do this coming term. doesn't this sound so familiar? i think so~ we all go back to school, feeling so excited coz summer has been too boring we need a change. and now... we slowly realize what kind of change it is... HOMEWORK. TESTS. MIDTERMS. EXAMS. not just any exams, but the you-can't-afford-to-screw-up-on exams coz they're worth 50% of your final mark. yup. the life of a student. A BEAUTY.

this weekend i have already done some reading. right now i'm sitting here, reading the dictionary look-alike biology textbook, actually ENJOYING the textbook, saying to myself, now THIS is what life science students are supposed to be STUDYING! yupyup. cell and molecular biology. oh baby, this is GOOD STUFF u kno? *sorry to those of u who aren't too keen on biology*. but hey, it's a great opportunity to get a glimpse of how crazily smart our God is, CREATING this stuff that seems so simple to him yet takes us YEARS to learn all about it. just look at one plain CELL. it's a self-timing machine. AMAZING~

but yeah. i got a lab already coming up next week and i have so much reading to do!~~ yupyup these days it's not reallie 'HOMEWORK' besides chem, but READING, READING, READING.. speaking of which.. i can finish SHOPAHOLIC TIES THE KNOT... =P

last day of summer...

2004-09-08T17:06:00.000-04:00

so, my room is slowly prepping itself into the shape of the word 'SCHOOL'. ok ok, so maybe it isn't literally in that shape, but it's definitely taking the form of that! the 'school mode' room~ w/ everything so clean, where allt he extra spaces is now filled w/ TXTBKS. loads and loads of TXTBKS. and tomorrow i have to buy another LOAD of txtbks becoz stupid UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO has diff txtbks for summer school?!~ ok well not for all subjects, just SOME. and just so happens to be the subjects I NEED this year. great, just great. oh brother...

sooo.. today is the last day of summer, and just so amazing, the last two days b4 school starts are actual days where i have NOTHING planned but to just relax at home. turns out perfect timing for me to get a cold and be STUCK at home feeling oozy for 2 days -_-~ great. just great~ at least i'm not as bad as yesterday. i slept 12 hours yesterday and i reallie felt like the world fell on me or sumthing becoz i had so much pain just from moving around~ oh. hold on for a sec

*phone call* - oh yay! i'm eating lunch w/ felix tm from 11-1~ greatttt =) oh perhaps i can drag mary there too~ nice nice! all u stupid QUEEN'S ppl don't start school till next week. so NOT fair.

anyway~ so now i finally wearing my contacts lu! altho... my pupils seem blurred in terms of the outline of it... haa~ looks kinda cool actually~ or maybe it's just me... hmmm~

alrite time for me to finish up cleaning and start reading the bio txtbk! i keep hearing from ppl that it's so good~ so i should take a look at it~ =)

i miss my blog! sniff... plus some REALLIE RANDOMNESS

2004-08-31T15:43:00.000-04:00

waaa... after not writing here for so long, it feels so weird!!! but it's funnn hahaha to write in it again! the past week has been really fun, it just felt so relaxing because i can relax and just put aside everything that has been preoccupying me recently on that mountain and just be worry-free. it's SOOO nice. i got darker =P my shoulders got even more burnt! haha i'm turning brown lu!! =) ahah no i rather be light-skinned actually~ but yeah i have spent that time doing more physical exercises than i have been doing this whole summer. u kno wat, i should start skipping ropes again. it reallie does give a great workout!! =) yaya~ random as heidi always says ahha~ anyhoooz~ it felt so weird going back to work! and yesterday was like super duper GING bz~ and today its like 'la la' land~ so weird!~ haha oh well~ oh no... school is starting in like... 9 days. i dunno if i'm reallie ready??? haha~ these days i think half the time me feels a little high... but i swear it's not the alcohol! =P hee~

anyway... ahhh i forgot to pick up my siu yuen jee discs sorrie anna~!! gimme tonite kk =) thx!!~ hmm i'm finally getting contacts lu!!yay~~ then i don't have the problem of not seeing things clearly when i'm at school, tho at chem labs we have to wear glasses. i don't like the idea of my contacts gently melting onto my pupils. that's just NOT cool~

have u ever wondered why the weather is so messed up these days? i have. this summer isn't even summer gum lor! it's like half cold~ i have to wear jackets indoors thanks to this building's lack of proper ventilation~ it's either freezing or boiling~ I GIVE UP~ but yeah even outside. u can't ever tell if sunny = warm or sunny = cold~ -_- the environment is getting screwed up enough as is!~ and all i see is this stupid condo building. blocking all the sunlight! makes me mad. grrr.

i feel random today. hmm i been thinking of random questions lately... sumthing wacko like for example. what would life be like if we had an extra arm or sumthing. TOTALLY. random. haha but i didn't think of this question tho, definitely sumthing just as wacko as this~ haha i still remmeber b4, it was like why can't circle be called square. and vice versa? why does star have to be 5 corners? why does nature have to be green? i don't think i'll ever find the answers, but i think it's fun to think of it ^^

alright back to work now. haha~ b4 they fire me =P

WORK IS JUST FUNNY!

2004-08-20T15:06:00.000-04:00

SOMETIMES WORKING HERE IS FUNNY~

haha i remember the ohter day i fold the transition letters. some interesting names. like:

Jean Jeans
why call ur daughter jean when ur last name is jeans?! Agar Agar
why call ur daughter agar when agar is sumthing we use in LABS for crying out loud. her name mite as well be agar squared! -_-"

haha and rite now i saw someone called babygirl as her first name~~ mm kinda feel a bit sorry for her~ but yeah some of these names are just plain funny~ like stephen horn =P haha~

anyway i shouldn't be making fun of these ppl coz they probably feel bad enough~ awww but i'll make sure my kids when i have them i will never give them embarrassing names~

sumtimes, i just HATE UT

2004-08-20T00:17:00.000-04:00

get this: what kinda educational institution actually START on a thurs?! i mean COME ON! this is plain ridiculous...

apparently NOT to University of Toronto. They decide to have school start ...

september 9, 2004.

oh my goodness. I AM BEYOND MAD. that gives me 7 days between work and school. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE?! why start school on thurs when u gonna get 2 days of classes and then u start a new weekend? and arg i just don't like UT at all!

OTHER THAN DAT. i just lost like 90% of my income to school.
oh brother, just GREAT.

i still have to buy txtbks! need to avoid lineups here.. oh man need to think of a time to go down there!

arg i'm so tired lately~ TOOO TIRED~~~ -_-... should sleep earlierr...

Free to go?... aimless~

2004-08-18T23:56:00.000-04:00

i'm sitting here, relieved... I SURVIVED psych! today i left my mark:

I was the last customer at bloor/bedford swiss chalet for Aug 18, 2004.

Mr. jeff wong slept after exam so when i called him both of us haven't ate yet~ i was so hungry while jeff was eating his soup -_- NOT amused. i'm not used to being HUNGRY and WAIT for the food to come~ =P PROBLEM: ran out of sum meat, ask if i want white. i thoughy, white?! err dat sounds like chicken to me? While the waitress was babbling about some duck, i was just too confused all i heard was the white meat so i said 'SURE~'. It was good~

anyway~ i've never ridden the subway at 10:45pm on a weeknite b4~ it was interesting~ some guy's so weird, u kno on the subway there's 3 seats, i sat in the corner so next person would sit on the OTHER end. this guy sat right next to me~ like already squishy ga la w/ all my stuff... WEIRDO~ he got off at eglinton so i can put away my stuff on the other seat...

Now i can enjoy a good nite's rest. oo, 10 days till david's birthday~

special project at work.. end with an embarassing moment

2004-08-18T00:20:00.000-04:00

so here i am, sitting here, pretty confident i should kno the social psych stuff, yet being scared coz i don't feel like i've studied hard enough...? -_-, tired because stupid jeff ho kept me up all nite talking on the phone! haha surprisingly i wasn't that tired but it was a good conversation anyhow~

so one must wonder, why on earth am i talking about work. i have to. i went in on monday expecting to cover Arlene, but turns out Cristina not there either ,so here i am thinking , oh just great. then cathy sends an email over asking me to help her team's data coz her team as usual is crazy hectic. but for once our team was swamped with stuff so i had to refuse the offer~ all of a sudden one of the managers came over and said he asked for my manager's permission to go do a 'special project'...

i froze. 'special project'? usually these things dont' exactly sound particulary great you kno, almost like you get the shivers coming. He said only for the afternoon, so what else can i do? i feeblely accepted the offer, not really having a choice. So then after lunch i covered till 2 pm because the other TAs were on lunch and no one was there if i left. Then i slowly head over to the secretary's desk. i thought, it can't be that bad can it? it's only putting transition letters into envelopes and mail them. Alright, i said to myself, lets do it~

so there i was, sitting w/ a pile of letters in front of me, waiting to be folded. Normally they don't have ppl doing this kinda job coz we have a FOLDING machine. aparently different languages (for the clients) were printed in a diff format so the way we fold the letters varies from language to language. Ok, so the job is a wee bit harder. So i started to fold, and fold, and fold... after a good 2 hours of continuous folding.. i was getting the hang of it. it isn't so bad. we filled up one box, 2 box, 3 box~ thought we'd be probaby more than halfway done. RESPONSE:in ur dreams queenie, we're not even halfway done.Reality sets in as i realize i have to spend all of tuesday doing the SAME thing...

that leads to today. So then i went there at 8:35am, and just started folding letters. the filing lady wasn't there to help me today so i had to fold, stuff and glue the envelopes. IN the process, my fingers seem to find their way toward the edges and keep getting sliced. I still vividly recall the burning sensation as my fingers briskly brush thru the papers and envelopes. GREAT just great i thought to myself. you kno, my job description did not say 'will get ur fingers cut'. not only dat, the skin around my cuticles start peeling because of dat. I"ve applied my only defense: hand lotion about 2394823423 times throughout the day. But finally, at 3:30pm, w/ the help of others stuffing/gluing for me and i just folded the letters, i painfully did 2000 letters. FOLDED BY HAND.i CAN'T BELIEVE i got bribed into this... the manager SO OWES ME... a manicure.i'm NOT kidding. it was originally 1800... but thx to other case managers bein late they added all these NEW ppl into the list and printed more and more letters bit by bit, pushing over the 2000 number.

As if things weren't bad enough, i went over to Coles during lunch, looking for books to buy. i saw the 'confessions of shopaholic' and i knew i just had to get it. while iw as lookin thru store, i came across these cute dog stickers. Excited, i slowly picked up a box to marvel over them. Out of the corner of my eye, sumthing was amiss. I took a closer look. The books in front of me, like dominos, slowly feel on top of each other, and the other books that were stacked up making a mountain started to fall around me.. OUTWARDS. i looked helplessly as the 'volcano erupted' and books began to all fall ... IN SLOW MOTION, while everyone stared. I felt so embarrassed. i just quickly put back the dog stickers, didnt' even get to look at it, while the saleswoman assured me this happens often, i just got out of there. i just felt so stupid - made a fool of myself at sheppard centre at a BOOKSTORE~

AS if things don't get worse, i get to studio only to find out the kid cancelled coz sick and i didn't have my cell w/ me the entire day.

then i can't stop reading the shopaholic book. omg i wana buy the entire series! it's so good! my goodness~ and yeah i got an email from david!! apparently he sent me some pics of him in BC. and there's this doggie! so cute arr~ he adopted it from the dog pound apparently and her name is Angel.

and here's david, trying to imitate iris by taking pictures at the BATHROOM w/ his new digicam:

so my exam is tomorrow and i'm scared as crap as i slowly realize i need to STUDY HARDER!.. off to study -_-

studying for PSYCH and baby-sitting does NOT mix

2004-08-15T19:29:00.000-04:00

so i'm sitting here, listening to mis-teeq's 'scandalous' nicely accompanied by kids screaming and running, and parents yapping their heads off~ -_-"omg. i can't even study~! sigh i wanna go somewhere else to study lor~ sigh omgness~ >.<

i was so doing well this afternoon w/ my reading and stuff and now i can't even STUDY! arg this is pissing me off~

i am NOT, and i repeat, AM NOT in a good mood rite now~ in fact anymore i'm gonna blow my head off~

Tangled up in me

2004-08-15T16:26:00.000-04:00

You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine
I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me

You wanna know more, more, more about me
Gotta know reverse phsychology
I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep
I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see

You think that you know me
You think that I'm only
When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you
You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Could you see I want you by the way I push you away Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, Ya!

Hey! Hey!

Get tangled up in me

Piano finished after..13 yrs? .. TEMPORARILY -_-

2004-08-13T14:43:00.000-04:00

HAHA as u can see from the top, yup. it's over. TEMPORARILY. haha i'm going back to do my teacher's or keep playing in open competitions after a yr~ need the yr off just to do shcool~ but i think i'll play like random waltz and scherzo's and sonatas just for fun~ =) haha~ i like playing songs i enjoy learning~ but yeahh~ so yesterday i woke up at 10:45 am and went downstairs. was lazy so i cooked egg in the microwave~ *hey i works i've seen bagel stores do dat* and then did sum piano playing, went out to get lunch, more playing/watching 'SIU YUEN JEE' COMICS!' *btw i need more discs anna!!!=) and then after some more random playing, i decide it's time to face it up~ was practicing bach and couple of the more troublesome songs (ie. brahms and chopin (yes my stupid etude) and kabalevsky) soo~ -_-

anyway i got there 10 mins early, went in~ w/o waiting... i was rushed into the exam hallway of euromusic... while i was sitting on the little chair outside the recital hall door, i had the sudden urge to pee. GREAT. i forgot i drank laai cha dat day i was like 'omg what's gonna happen nowww -_-"'~ by the time i debated whether to leave the chair the two adjudicators opened the door and warmly welcomed me inside. i've practiced in this room once b4 the exam like a week ago~ and then settled down waiting a while testing the piano~~~ tho i dun reallie kno how to test piano coz i naturally adapt~ -_- afterwards proceed to start my little bach~ everyone was well in the first 2 parts of the partita until the fugue section came in. all of the sudden the LH wasn't coordinating w/ RH catching me off guard i almost panicked~ but i managed to finish the song nicely in the end? -_-

after dat i knew i was overnervous so i took liek 5 mins to prep for the next song (hey it's my concert i can do whatever =)) anyway~ HERE COMES MR. CRAZY BEETHOVEN~ should i say mad songs. first of all my sonata has 4 movements in total~ 2nd movement is a scherzo and 3rd movement is a trio~ -_- man~ it's just a lot of music in essence~ -_- anyway i was alrite in 1st movement? second too a bit of notes not coming out but yeah~ third movement was alrite~ and 4th was alrite except the climax the LH kinda played some wrong notes -_- ahha~

then i played my etude after that. now this song is slow so i figured was fine, until i realized i FORGOT about my etude during my practicing that morning~ -_-" INSIDE i was ilke omgomgomgomg coz i knew i was supposed to practice it~ man too out of it these days~ so then i just did my best~~ the beginning was TOO LOUD -_- but oh well~ some wrong notes here and there but otherwise ok~

then i decide it's halfway pt so i took a washroom break, as well as washing my face to freshen up myself~ next up was brahm's rhapsody. THAT SONG, compared to other times was much better! i was so prepping myself for destined screwedness~ aha turned out not tooo bad~ =) and then island was alrite except some chords were played wrong -_- and then last but not least kabalevsky. all those harsh hours and muscle spasms were worth it coz in the end only some minor stuff went a bit off~ soo~

HOPE I PASS~ and now mad studying psych -_- justtt GREAT~

When i talk to you

2004-08-11T13:45:00.000-04:00

Remember me
Feels like forever
Since the days
When we were friends
I don't understand
All these changes
I'm still the same
No need to pretend

Where'd it go..? Do you know..?
Maybe it just doesn't matter

'Cause when i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong
When I talk...
When I talk to you

There were times
In the beginning
When you were there
When I needed you most
We'd sit and talk
About the future
And laugh about
Us getting old

Do you know
How it feels
I hope that you know that it matters

But when i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong

When I talk to you
I want you to know everything that I am
Don't want to know what life would be without you

When i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong
When I talk...
When I talk to you

recital?

2004-08-09T00:42:00.000-04:00

the recital went alrite~ not too bad at all actually!~ well id id screw up a few songs and i still did better than b4 which would mean that i will get a better mark hopefully?? but yeah ging nervous lor for some strange strange reason~ i dunno~ anyway~ this weekend.. has been stressful, particularly things that don't need to be normally stressed over... sigh~ life is harsh these days~ but i'm happy for the august outreach! =) yupyupyup~ it's fun fun fun~ and it was reallie awesome~ haven't been moved for a long time... just so gloomy sumtimes these days~ yay we won out first softball game w/o me in it lolz haha~ jun hai sad~ oh well! maybe will do better in the next two weekends gwa!~

so exam in 3 days. ging scared and then psych is 10 days after. SIGH. this world... just ngaai dor 1 week then i'm freeeeeeeeeeee..

back to school shopping part 1

2004-08-06T14:21:00.000-04:00

haha, so apparently, i went back to school shopping for an hour during work at lunch time =) haha well needed to get out of the 'mindlessness' state of doing data and answering phone calls and just do some shopping~~ it feels sooo goood!.. well this is just the stuff off the top of my head that i decide i need to buy~ =P but it's pretty cheap. 6.70 for like 6 items~ =P haha yeah~ last time i went school shopping, i spent 8.50 buying three packs of staple's paper! grrrr~ just PLAIN stupid. this time it's only 89 cents but i only bought one pack. hmm stupid move, but i'll go back the last week of my work term here to buy more la!! =) muwahhahaha~ ai. ho tired arrr. i need some of that strawberry tea. i'ts tetley brand!! so good! it smelled so nice until u drink it and it just taste like regular tea -_-" such a deceiving type of tea la!~

anyway this week has been alrite gum la~ not much happening. oh but the 8 pm show omgomg!! hahah i kno what's gonna happen! amy lam is gonna die in the next episode! which is tonite =) muwhahhahaha~ yeahh haak yei choi hung~~ mmm can't wait~ =P yupyupyup!!!! =) anyway so excited this sunday!!! yay my friend jeff sim is gonna bring his little sister too! i was so surprised that his sis is willing to come ^^ =) haha all the more we need to do better! *and i need new drum sticks hahha* maybe not coz i'm quitting in sept =(~ sigh. oh well next summmer!!! lolz hope me ng wui forget saai d drummin techniques la! hmm maybe randomly practice after sat fellowships while everyone decides where to eat~ .. hm maybe i can do drumming lessons~ =P even better! ~ nice well i'm considering doing flute actually but hmm we'll c =) yeah u kno i realie start to wonder WHAT THE HECK i'm doing in science~ ... as much as i hate to admit it, i actually wouldn't mind doing a bachelor of music ga~ =P i can play all these instruments!! soo cool and get to perform and stuff~ =) sigh. well we'll c haha i dunno what's gonna happen~~ too much in head lately ~ but i should definitely pray for a more clear direction~ =P

Less of Me, More of Him

2004-08-02T23:38:00.000-04:00

wow, this was absolutely one of the best retreats i've ever been in my entire life! honestly i've never felt so great going to a retreat like this. I was just so glad i was able to take my mind of EVERYTHING and i mean by dropping down all the stuff's that's been bugging in my mind lately. Would've loved to talk to people more but we dind't get too much of a chance~ Overall the retreat was awesome! i really liked the way we interact and by doing the activities themselves we learn bits about the characteristics of Jesus, i found that the things stick to me a lot more than if i were to sit at a sermon and have things thrown into my brain~ but yeah~ i think it reallie helped to apply. I remmeber when we did the sundial and everyone was complaining, i was thinking, if we standing under the sundial for 15 mins is so 'SUN FU' or painful, imagaine how Jesus felt when he had to die on the cross~ it's just so easy to give up, yet i'm just so grateful that Jesus did not do that and i just feel really touched that he was so willing to throw down his life for us!

Anyway, we had split off into 6 'small groups'. My team was Team 5, lead by Kerbie (aka kerwin) and we had a very fun group haha~ For example (i swear this is gonna be one of the most classic moments of hcefc history), we took forever to find the station we were supposed to present; we found everything else and we coulnd't find #5 but finally we did and it was sherades~ naturally it was Jeff and his angels vs. the boys~ haha~ angels being me, kat and hayley haha~ and then so the battle began. first one up was Colin and he had to act out a movie. Now, he put two fingers up = 2 words and he made all these frankenstein movements w/ the tiger hands sticking out and stomping around; then he turn to waltzing (tho it looked more like two arms sticking into the air and he's just swaying strangely) and did this hand slide thing down the back of his head. i was thinking maybe it was a disney movie but then i was like 2 words impossible. CONCLUSION: the movie name? BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Now of coz we didn't get it tho we were the opposing team coz we thought it was TWO WORDS! -_-" but yeah that was just so hilarious everyone was cracking on the floor laughing. dat was reallie fun tho. the bible trivia was fun too~ haha us trying to scam the other team but again Jeff and his angels won! hahaha~ overall that section was amazing i really learned a lot out of it, just hanging around people i normally wouldn't hang out with this is reallie great~

One thing i was very impressed is that altho this topic seems so simple, yet it's sumthing that every single Christian struggles with. I think personally for me, it's been a constant struggle to understand what God really wants me to do. i've agonized it over late nights and yeah all along i was thinking 'oh i wanna do this etc' but now i'm doing nutritional science, which isn't something i was reallie eager to do or be excited about but it seems like over and over again i try to choose another path and it just don't seem to quite work, or at least if it does there's a lot of obstacles involved. just a Gut feeling that i should stick to this program so i'll keep going thru this doorway and see where God leads me to~

but yeah the hanging out was reallie nice too! haha~ first of all we went bowling. the fasted bowling game ever and we took 30 mins~ fast eh~ HAHA obviously i did the worst out of all four of us hahahha~ i can't be rushed w/ bowling i like taking my time~ anyway haha i keep having trouble letting go of the ball and so i have this paranoia that i will end up INTO THOSE PINS because i can't let go of ball i end up sliding~ -_-" it's a stupid thing to think about but always one of my worst fears when i go bowling! it was great~ Auntie peggy of coz was like the best hahaa she's so strong! lolz~ and i look like the bowl could very well drag me down the lane w/ it -_- haha~ again this is so strange, for a girl who can bench press 50 pounds yet can't even do one full push-up. i just FLOP! >.< *sniff*

the only 'prank' we reallie had was walter's towel. apparenty dru and them threw it wet and cold into the freezer and this morning it was all iced and hard~ then they told me to throw it back in. Unfortunately, just as i was about to, walter's door opens and he stared at the towel and said 'hey dats my towel!' i was just like 'oh um someone told me to go get this pink towel' then he's like 'why's it so wet' meanwhile stupid nay and mil who came up w/ the idea, nay was like 'yeah hey y's mine so wet' when first of all dats not his towel and it wasn't even wet! then milton's like yo where's MY towel -_-" haha so funnie!! but yeah =)

haha following the footsteps of jesus requires us to step dance now dat was cool~~ it's been an amazing weekend and i'm so pumped for August OUtreach, wow amazingly opporunities just come flying at me and i'm just so grateful, again~ it's been sumthing i've been thinking of for yrs and it's finally happening~ =) yay!! yupyup

anyway my arms are so tired from softball! it's aching >.<>

the stuff on friendster.. "33 things about urself?!"

2004-07-30T00:54:00.000-04:00

first of all that just sounds plain stupid~ what a dum way to call a test! i'ts almost like 'COME LOOK AT MY PROFILE' ~ -_-

anyway i'm bored so let fill this 33 things test =P

1. YOUR HOROSCOPE: yes i kno i am cancerous so wat? =P

2. HapPy? rite now? oh yeah.. i just had so much jap food that any thing i see dats edible makes me barf

3. Last Gmk PlAce uv Been? jeung taai sushi house at fmp? =P wait what's gmk?!

4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERiOUSLY HURT BY THE PERSON YOU LOVE/D? who hasn't~ at least u think u had loved the person. obviously, notice the word lovED

5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOU TURNED SUiCiDAL? i don't know. life doesn't have a good enough reason to make me end in defeat like dat

6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF? well. WHAT ELSE? i kno the word is arbitrary but lets not get into dat~

7. PREFER COUNTRY OR CLASSiC? country makes me giddy, classic calms me but i think i like classic more~

8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY? how bout all mixed together? haa no la i want cute and smart but idiotic and stupid at the same time =)

9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTH YOUR BF/GF? hmmm stably empty rite now i guess? haha i dun even kno what i'm talking about -_-

10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGE USUALLY FROM: sometimes it's from random ppl, but mostly it's ju ju la haha

11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iN THE OPPOSiTE GENDER? WHO? erm... lee d yei can just sum jiu la~ haha u kno who u are ^^

12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHEN YOU`RE DEPRESSED? i don't eat~ i'm constantly tired and sleep a lot

13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG? trying to be cheerful? haha most ppl don't find me boring at all coz they laugh at me all the time!

14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE. i don't think i can ever have a perfect date~ but... umm maybe sumthing quiet.. like dinner and then just walk around downtown enjoying the night life or just walking near the lake shore... or even during the day maybe go to a garden or park of sum sort and just relax~~

15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODY KNOWS WHY THE SKY iS BLUE? WHAT DO YOU THiNK? no obviously not, because there's no need to wonder. thx to the guy upstairs~

16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE? mm yup~ not just hurt, more like torn apart

17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAME MiSTAKE AGAiN? i have repeated my mistakes and hopefully this time around i won't~

18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL? mm no~ i can find u extremely annoying but i won't hate u. i get upset but because i vent out easy i forget easy~

19. DO YOU DO ANYTHiNG WHEN A PERSON BREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY? better one day than 3 weeks~ so i can let go faster~

20. GiVE ONE WORD WiTH MORE THAN 2 SYLLABLES THAT BEST DESCRiBES WHAT YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW. ho yeet arrrr

21. DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELF? yup coz God believes in me how can i not believe~

22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURT YOURSELF? tried to~ and then hate myself for it~

23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELF? yup~ definitely have~

24. MOTTO iN LiFE. we can't control our birth date and our death date *unless u try to kill urself dats another story* but the line between the two we can control. what that line you want it to represent is all up to u.

25. HAVE YOU EVER DOUBTED THAT SOMETiMES? i don't think i doubt but i just feel like i don't live up to it~ coz i have a hard time trying sumtimes~

26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD *EXTRA* FEELiNGS ABOUT A BEST FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTE GENDER? haha hmm yes actually~ but dats good coz i'm not gonna have *extra* feelings from a guy i met on the subway for 1 min~

27. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO ABOUT iT? iF NO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? mm try to understand him more la~ and see if this feeling is real~ been doing this for the past yr so...

28.is MONEY THE MOST iMPORTANT THiNG iN YOUR LiFE? of coz not! money is evil~ i get sucked in from time to time too~ nah the big G is the most important

29. DO YOU MAKE ANY MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS WHEN YOU`RE SLEEPiNG? mm i turn~ and i don't snore~

30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP? depends. sumdays it's hideous and anyone who tries to is getting a piece of me

31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP? when anything i do i still fall asleep w/n 5 min span

32. ARE YOU CONVENiENT WiTH THAT? no i wish i can sleep foreverrrrr

33. LAST, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE PERFECT? no of coz not! i am farr from it

NOTE: PLEASE KEEP THE TiTLE OF THiS SURVEY '33 THiNGS ABOUT YOU'
read wat i wrote at the top!

The Body shop! haha

2004-07-29T10:13:00.000-04:00

oh my...~~ crazie crazie~ yup so apparently yesterday i had random ppl come up to me and say yeah so u won it eh? i was like... "won what?" and then the intranet popped up on my computer and it said 'winner of the name-the-intranet contest is ...' haha ME =P so then randomly i won 50 bucks worth of the body shop gift certificate~ altho i think i'm gonna trade it in w/ my mom for book money~ -_-" the life of a student. and honestly i can't think of what to buy at body shop for 50 bucks? i have enough of those smelly things already~ i have too much body spray/perfume, lotion, face cleaning things, lip accessories, earrings.. >.< ai ya~ too much of everythinga nd definitely too much stuffed animals! no more please!! in future seriously! my room have no place for them and the ones i got for my birthday are still sitting in the cupboards in plastic bags -_-

haha~ anyway~ but yeah yesterday has been a badddd day~ but surprisingly i wasn't too scared. actually i'm a little worried rite now~ coz i'm waiting for news from baycrest. i'm pretty positive i mixed one of the files from another team in there by mistake and it got sent to baycrest but it's needed badly coz we need to do a transfer on it~ -_-" look at the booboo i made~ first one at work >.< this is so sad~ haha but it's all goood!!!

mmm i'm looking forward to summer conference, a chance to get away from all the distractions in the world and just focus on God~ it's a much needed thing for me to do rite now~ but yeahh~ things have been quite crazie~ a lot of thinking and stuff but things are starting to open up so i'm not like totally worried or anything~ =P

hmm i still need to get sumthing for my little bro~ and i dunno if i should go to friday's dinner? i dun wanna eat sushi bar again? -_- i'm eating it tonite already >.< maybe i'll just come chill afterwards for a bit~ but i think i'm just end up lazy and sit at home and watch tv~ mmm i shall seee tm~~ =P

anyway. back to work i gotta pile of nice data shoved in my face and my coffee break is in 10 mins~ so it's good! =)

I will be...

2004-07-27T13:13:00.000-04:00

hmmm i get this song in my head riteee about now~ it's called 'i will be the one' and yes as anna said dats the one w/ both of them on the ferris wheel!!!! yupyupz~ haha no nick isn't dat good of a singer but he is CUTE. has anyone seen conman2002 omg haha ROFL haha ging gau siu lor! siu sei yun~ oh welliez~~ yupyup. so i'm at work again today as usual~~~ not much is new.. but i can't wait till weekend! i wanna get out of here arrrr -_- all morn i been doing cathy's data coz she's off for a wk and ther's SO MUCH WORK! my goodness~ BUT IT'S OK!! coz now in the afternoon i have 10 placement files waiting for me to do >.<>

hmm i'm gonna miss drums more and more~~ coz i have to take stats in the school yr and i have to do it tues nites no other choice~ unless ppl switch to another day to practice!!! >.<>

hmmm maybe i hsould email the nutri sci guy again ahha i swear i'm bugging him so much he's getting annoyed. but yeah~~ oh well!! yupyup~ in the meantime i'm gonna do my work b4 my boss catches me doing other things again!!!~ =P

officially - nutritional sci specialist?! haha

2004-07-26T14:37:00.000-04:00

yupyup so as you see... i am... officially.... NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE SPECIALIST.. which is interesting... it wasn't sumthing i wanted to do at first.. but now.. i dunno. i have this weird feeling inside me that says i think i should stick to it~ and i think it works w/ me too.. coz i'm such a health freak *labelled by some people coughDAVIDcough* haha~but yeah! i'm officially in it now coz at 10:30 am i finished signing up all my courses. i don't believe this tho, takes 1.5 hours to register 4.5 credits -_- this is so stupid but i did it at work so haha i'm glad!! =) anyway~ yeahhh back to sea of love.... that tvb show~~ OMGNESS!! HAHAHAHHA... i found all the songs!!! all by jeung ga fai!!! =) yayyayayaya~ gonna listen to it all the time~ i'm so obsessed! but i love 'you will be my love' it's so.. mmm how u say it.. oldies style?? it's cooool!!!! woohhoo~ i like old stuff -_- ai i'm turning LO LA!!! dim suen?! haha~

so rite now i'm sitting in my office, sipping my TREATS coffee~~ and waiting to jet out of here~~~ so i can go to eaton's centre and do sum stuff~~ actually i gotta go down again on wed to shop for my bro's bday!! his birthday is this fri~ i kno he's poor he has like... 20 bucks in acct to last thru aug~ so i'll buy him some nice clothes from UB =)

anyway~ i got a hospital hold i need to follow up.. errr yup she's in sunnybrook and seeing if she come out! if yes great if no *groan* have to call agencies to close file and stuff -_-~ takes so long oh well!! will write more tonite after my lecture!!! i'ts on intelligence.. this should be interestinggg.. =)

the new bagel!!

2004-07-23T15:38:00.000-04:00

woohooz~~ oh my...i just got this funny joke... haha i wish i can use this excuse.. mm actually maybe not~ =P

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming in to work today."

anyway~~ currently dealing w/ client issues! hahaha~ it's interesting~ i love talking to old ppl i dunno y~ =P i think i like interacting w/ them~ =) ok i'm too random~ back to work *btw my manager came up to me and i didn't kno. i had no work at dat time and so i was reading magazine i looked up she was staring rite at me! scariness~ >.<

so yeah this morning i had such an interesting bagel! it was blueberry bagel w/ strawberry cream cheese, w/ a tiny bit of hummus spread lightly on top, added w/ mango pieces and cucumber pieces... YUM! =) u may think it's weird but it looked like a fruit bagel =)

You will be my love...

2004-07-22T23:22:00.000-04:00

so finally! sup maan deun ching yuen is over!! *9 oclock chinese tv series*... arg~ reallie dum daai bay man! get u all hyped and then take one whole hour to get the two ppl back together again? -_-~ but yeah i honestly dun understand how a woman like yama can just be so DUM *rolls eyes* ai~ worse than ppl making fun of blonds! there's this theme song thru out the series they kept playing it was yama's favourite song~

You Will be My Love

My love, till you are near..

Long for your touch, you're the only one

With you, I know I'll find the love that I need

Love for a lifetime so please

Please believe it's true

Our love will see us thru

For one heart shared by two

We'll always stand now and forever

Thru the sun or thru the rain

For all time you'll always be

MY LOVE

aww isn't dat so sweet! i think so~ yupyup so cute!!! BUT YEAH i try to look for it like actual mp3 or sumthing >.<>

so i went to the doctor~~ eye appt and she said.. DUN DUN DUN~~ i got worse~ -_- haha oh well i think i pretty much need to wear it 24/7 now -_- but yeah hope to get contacts soon!! anyhooz... since i'm going to progressive dindin tm~~ i shall do my psych now~ -_-

thursdayssss... almost there to the weekend! arg i dun like waiting~

2004-07-22T15:58:00.000-04:00

Sooo... GREAT~ i just feel so tired!! haha i'm laughing at my fellow worker here.. she said some nurse was so rude to her.. haha~ funny case of missing supplies~ so they delivered but person can't find it~ but then he said he's disabled and don't go outside so now it's all in a web of confusion~ meanwhile i have the honour to laugh my head off as i'm making new charts and counting down the minutes i get to leave =) how nice am i muwhahahahah~ haha anyway~ i'm so tireddd!! stupid DRU WONG~... haha i was talking to him then i realized yeah it's late i need to sleep? -_- haha~ oh well it's so cute tho!! awwwwwww no need to say y i'm awwing hahha~ soon everyone shall kno lolz~ *who else doesn't* ai~ anyhoooz will write more after my eye appt and my little piano lesson~~ oh no gotta start hounding on it~ coz exam is soon!!! -_-

it's all over..

2004-07-21T22:20:00.000-04:00

omg.. it's all over! i can't believe this... first of all. MILTON KONG SHAVED HIS HEAD. second of all. i just finished my psych midterm. third of all. EYE APPT TM!! omg i'm so scared... i dun wanna kno how worse my eyes have gotton over the past year.... anyway~ i'm so tired! -_-.. grrness.. i have been sitting on my bed reading stupid txtbk all day. then i went downtown and studied at starbucks. then yeah. mm so far no much thru the week has been happening. waiting for friday tho! progressive dinner except i just found out i have no car! *mad face* oh my goodnesss yeah so then the other day i was at work one of the ppl asked if i was a case manager. u kno ti's the second time sumone asked me this. i was laughing my head off. haha~ and then oh! sumone thought i was taller than my dad now how weird is dat. she asked my dad 'is ur daughter taller than u?' my dad is like excuse me?! she's shorter than my wife.. she thought i looked tall hahahahahahahaha. now even more funny is. i was wearing my FLAT shoes dat day. like which means i was pretty short haha. but yeah... sigh i'm so full rite now. ate so much conjeee.... OK. i dunno who watches the 9 oclock chinese tv series. but it's pissing me off.. like PISSING ME OFFF!!!!... SERIOUS!... ai.. i can't understand how a woman like jeung hor yee (yama) can be so STUPID! she has like.. no brains. and then that lau wa dude. my god he's pissing me off.. for a bad guy... i hate him to pieces.. he's a bad guy alright but he's being so GOOOD at acting it it's SICK -_-~ jun hai SUI DOU YUP GWUT!.. (so jeen gaak)... tho that kinda reminds me of my aunt and how she got pretty screwed up after her marriage... anyway~ haha lets just hope dat doesn't happen to me~ alrite i'm tired!... will write more laterrr =)

my new japanese names!! =)

2004-07-15T00:03:00.000-04:00

So first i typed in my english name:

My japanese name is 吉国 Yoshikuni (good fortune country) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Then i typed in my chinese name:

My japanese name is 吉国 Yoshikuni (good fortune country) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

so if i put the two together.. it should be

吉国久美子美晴
Yoshikuni Kumiko Miharu =)

so anyway, today was an ok day. i went to chinatown and bought some chinese cd's~ tho i think time square has better ones.. -_- anyway~ i finished another chapter in psych at work =) lets hope i finish another one today~ then one more friday THEN I'M SET!! WOOOOhoo~ yupyup i'm so planning my TIMEE~ ai. tho my wrist still hurts when i play piano... =( and not just wrist the pain has spread up to the base of my palm the musclesj ust underneath my thumb and palm hurts =/ oh man... i need to play well for exam! >.<

other than dat.. not much interesting things~ tho lately i'm starting to have sleeping spells 24/7...~ no good~ awww i wanna sleep! instead i'm like stuck here.. oh well~

so i was going downtown on the spadina streetcar to get to chinatown... first of all someone in front of me must've smelled i didn't figure out who it was but IT WAS oh my goodnesss I COULDN'T BREATHE i tried to stay apart as MUCH as possible!! and then i was on the subway today... i swear i'm not imagining it~ i felt sumthing touch my butt~ and so i turned around but there was NOTHING there~.... so who touched me?? eww i dun wanna kno anyhow and good thing it only lasted a second~

mm i had a mango bubble tea!! =) yay and the walk back up to campus was soo nice~ =) yeah i need to walk moreee =P haha~ exercise!!!!

stupid school = UT

2004-07-13T18:37:00.000-04:00

feeling: semi semi

Listening: Hillary Duff - Come Clean
*haha my friend mary who's working at camp said she divided up her group into 3 and one of the groups were called 'the duffs' haha~ =)*

grr i hate choosing stupid subject posts~ arg i just wanna get into psych so badly! hmmm i dunno if i get into specialist program... would i still like it? i have NO IDEA~ BUT. hmm i would like double major and minor dat'll be so coool~ except i dun think i have ROOM for it? well i'll take summer school i suppose. but then i dun want full course load? i wanan go back to hk and.. ahhhh! ><

so anyway i got all my courses figured out already i know what i'm taking next year pretty much - but right now i have applied to one major two minors 'ding ju dong sin' just so i can enroll courses by the 26th. tomororw have second round application and PLEASE LET ME GET INTO PSYCH! actually if i get into specialist dat wouldn't be such a bad idea... hmmm choice choice choice and i DON'T LIKE MAKING THEM *queenie relieves a large puff of air*

anyway, haha today in the office i was reading 8 gwa magazines haha~ 'in touch' haha~ well i did psych reading too and random data here and there~ actually today just kinda sped by and i just did stuff but very mung mung wu wu gum~ very cloudy =P haha coz i don't quite remember everything i did~ but this morning so funny a lady just came back from vacation (sonya)and we were talking all of a sudden my fellow TA arlene says 'hey nice jewellery' then she turned around and looked again 'hey y is it on ur fourth finger... *gasp* omg it's an engagement ring!' hahahahaha it was just so funny. our office is known for being 8 and rumors fly all over the place.. but fact she hid it from us she was dating this man seriously and got engaged? -_- we were baffled hahhaa~ i saw a pic of him his name is nicholas~ suits him he looks quite nice =) gei match ar~ aww so cute! hahaah she won't stop smiling and she's a very cheerful lady u kno but i haven't seen her this happy for a whileee~ like siu dou sum dou chut maai lei gum haha~ well things were kinda tense b4 she left for holidays... meanwhile she's like 'oh yeah i'm going to jamaica to chill and beach and all dat.. ' we're like WATEVER! her man is in jamaica!! lol~ such a liar haha~ but i'm happy for her!! =) aww first it was Lori now it's her~ man baby machines are coming thru that office! *not that it hasn't* coz i see big bellies when i walk around on the office floor~ -_-~ everyone's talking about their own belly and stuff~ oi haha it's just so different from ppl i hang w/ NORMALLY u kno =) ookkk worship team in 1.5 hours... mmm should do sumthing productive rather than just write write write~~